Oh Dear Delia.............!

I like salt. Salt is good, it makes my food taste of, well, salt I suppose, but it's better than no salt which is a miserable thing. Take salt out of most food and it will taste of shit. I hasten to add that I'm not referring here to processed food, which probably has far too much of the stuff, but instead I mean home made food. This is where Delia comes in. Looks like the old dear has incurred the wrath of dietary fascists who stalk this land. Her crime? Publishing recipes using, er................ processed food............. ?

Shit! There goes that arguement...............

Anyway, Caitlin Moran has written a very good article in The Times which provides a spot on overview of Delia's 'Shock! Horror!' defection from preparing wholesome sunday lunches and fondant fancies in favour of rattling together dishes with the aid of frozen, tinned and packet ingredients. It's aimed squarely at people who convince themselves that they have no time to cook, an absurdity in itself, but we shall pop back to that in a moment.

It all reminds me of a show that was on tv years ago, usually broadcast in five minute bursts in the early hours of Saturday or Sunday morning, the name of which I forget, which involved various unkempt student types demonstrating ad-hoc post-pub gastronomical delights to a nation of sozzled sots. This time however, instead of 'Gregg and Hannah' showing you how to throw together a vegetarian spag bol, or 'Fat Gaz' letting you in on his secret techniques for making 'Fried Egg in Tomato Ketchup', it's Delia chucking tinned mince, pre grated cheese and freeze-dried mash into the mix and making cottage pie. Oh well, I suppose peeling a few spuds, boiling them and then mashing them will take all night, won't it? Fresh mince is fairly cheap and takes minutes to brown off in a pan, and frankly, if you can't be arsed grating some cheddar, then you truly are a useless c**t. The difference beteen making the dish with fresh ingredients and with ready ingredients is maybe an hour. You haven't got an hour to spare of an evening? C'mon!!

It's not all bad though, this chap reckons Delias 'chuck' isn't nearly as bad as the foodies (see the quote from Giles Coren in the Caitlin Moran article: "Like having a pig piss in your throat") and the nutritionists are making out. Or maybe he's just in the pay of the likes of Knorr, Campbells and John West..................

Of course, I'm one to talk. My diet isn't great and relies on jars and tins to a degree, but what gets me is that there are people out there who are even lazier than I am. people who won't cut and cook some chicken, won't fry off some beef mince, won't boil a spud or grate some cheese....................

Contrary to poular belief, you can make decent food in jig time, using fresh ingredients. I know this, for I have done it. All that stops me from doing it more often is a lack of imagination and a palate that calls a halt to proceedings at the merest whiff of 'green stuff'.

I have no fear of salt, not as long as tomatoes and broccoli stalk the earth..............