My Mantras

Mantra No1 - Hold your counsel.

Better to say nothing and have people think you a fool, than to open your mouth and confirm the suspicion. It's amazing how few people consider their words on the internet, and how few understand the ramifications of their casually tossed off bullshit.

Mantra No2 - Never mock what you don't understand.

Twitter is something I have no time for. I can think of nothing worse to do with ten minutes of precious free time than go online and tell people what I'm doing at any given moment. I tried it and it was shite. Of course, it wasn't designed for friendless (in the sense that I can count all of mine on the fingers of one hand) twats like me. No, it was made for the go-getter, the jet-setter and the sort of person who 'makes fast friends'. All fine and well, but it seems it has performed it's ultimate function already. It can get you out of that 2 star North African state run 'accommodation' you wound up in while you were acting the arse on yr gap year. For that, I can't praise it highly enough.

Mantra No3 - Never tell people the truth to their faces.

It seems honesty doesn't go down very well with people who have fragile egos.............. In a bit of a comedy moment from yesterday, one of my dimmer colleagues pressed 'reply all' in the email he and a few others were swapping back and forth between themselves. Quite an eye opener it was too................. It seems that someone I gave a well deserved verbal slap-down to some months ago still harbours a great deal of resentment against me. Apparently he thinks I'm the lowest form of life and won't attend any post work leisure activities if I'm present. Hilarious, a more inadequate and miserable man I have never met. As for not coming to nights out because of me, he never came to them anyway, it's just that now when he's asked, instead of looking like an anti-social saddo, he can now point at me and say 'It's that bad mans fault, he called me nasty names!'

It would also help if he had the balls to say what he thinks to my face, but then, that would involve having a spine and guts, something the said individual has never had, and nor will he at any future date.

Of course, maybe I should have listened to mantra No1 and held my tongue in the first instance..........

Mantra No4 - No Regrets.

Or maybe not...............

Rick Rolling Rights And Wrongs

Just how much mileage can you get out of a video of an adenoidal, badly dressed man with a mountainous quiff?


If you've never had the pleasure of being 'Rick Rolled', it's a recent internet phenomenon whereby you click on a link to something you want to see, but instead you're rewarded with something you resolutely didn't want to see, i.e, the worst pop song of 1987.

It has to be said, the link that Blogger stuck in their updates page promising a rundown of a new feature, was, if anything, even more horrific. If you've never experienced the baritone bullshit of Tay Zonday, then count yourselves lucky.
For those with strong stomachs, check out his 'internet hit' Chocolate Rain. The guy's like a Sesame Street Jas Mann

I suppose 'Rick Rolling' it's one of those things that can be done when posting any link, it needn't be Rick Astley, but it seems nobody has gotten round to more extreme takes on the theme. I await the day someone links to a live trepanning video in lieu of some celebrity porn. The Rick Astley gag probably wore thin worldwide after about a month, but somehow or other people always seem to take time to have a good old chortle over it. It's a bit like humouring the office wanker I suppose...........

My theory is that someone put in the wrong link on a mass consumption website by accident and forget about it. Suddenly, instead of people saying 'Ha! You listen to shit music!', the mistake is instead being hailed as the work of an online situationist prankster genius. I mean, it could just as easily have been a link to the web masters favourite animal porn site. 'Yeah! You been Doggy Rolled!!' doesn't quite have the same ring to it, though 'Urgh! You fucking sick cunt' certainly does..........

Anyway, In my own haphazard little way, I've probably led, oh, dozens of people to websites they have little or no interest in..........................

Including this one.



Athlete Cured by The Fall