Have I Just Got One Of Those Faces?

A bluebell wood by the motorway. The council must be planting waves of them along the M8. The next dignity free mouth breather that asks me if I'm the 'Real Radio Renegade' is gonna get a fucking kick up the arse, so help me God! What is that about? Have people nothing better to do than approach innocent pedestrians making their weary way home from work with their headphones on, in the vaguest of hopes that they might be an employee from some tin-pot local radio station, just waiting to make them rich? No, of course they haven't. There must have been something going down in the area, as I was accosted twice in the space of a minute. Various others gesticulated at me from their cars or stared at me like I was from another planet. I mean, what's a 'Real Radio Renegade' supposed to look like anyway? Probably not half as gormless as those who fall for this naff gimmick. Wankers! They'd set fire to their houses and eat their own shit if someone offered them a fiver and a chance to be on telly. Is it the warm weather that brings them out? Ah, so many questions and so few answers.............. On another, utterly unrelated topic...... The little boy next door shouts. A lot. In fact, he's louder than you'd think possible for a four year old. It's not just when he's excited or agitated though, it seems to be a permanant setting. My bet is that everyone in the family communicates in this way, so he needs to turn up the volume to be heard, but he can't turn it off when he's out of that environment. What he's like at school, I'd hate to speculate.............. If nothing else, his throat lining will be in shreds by the time he's ten. The tulip at my back door. It finally disintegrated during the week there, but I took this one last weekend, with all raindrops and stuff on it. The sunflowers are coming through, against the odds, and the nasturtiums are thriving. Gives you something to look at in the mornings as you make your coffee and contemplate throwing a sickie.

George Carlin Said What?

Now, I have to confess to being more of a Bill Hicks fan, but George Carlin has been spitting in the face of the establishment for long enough to gain some degree of respect from me. Imagine my surprise when I was sent Two chain emails containing this screed, attributed to Mr Carlin.

George Carlin's Solution to Save Gasoline


Bush wants us to cut the amount of gas we use..... The best way to stop using so much gas is to deport 11 million illegal immigrants!
That would be 11 million less people using our gas. The price of gas would come down.....
Bring our troops home from Iraq to guard the Border...
When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Iraq ...
Tell him if he wants to come to America then he must serve a tour in the military.....
Give him a soldier's pay while he's there and tax him on it....
After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country......
He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal patriot......
This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Iraq and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves......
If they refuse to serve, ship them to Iraq anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo.....
Problem solved.....
I gotta agree with George!

Carlin of course denies authorship, regarding such tracts as being too embarrassingly unfunny to even think about laying claim to them, but theres something odd and sneaky about this. Is this about attempting to associate Carlin, a well known 'pinko' with the American right? Not sure, it seems to happen to a variety of people. John Cleese for instance, Denis Leary too. Whilst one supposes it's flattering to be recognised and to know that someone out there has decided to attribute their comedy stylings to you (rather than the other way about), surely there comes a point where Carlin is thinking "there are millions of people out there who know my name not for my political satire and wit, but for a handful of dreary, laboured, clod-hoppingly obvious chain e-mails that have been sent to every single workerbee in the hive under my name..................Bummer!"

The best/worst part of getting such fatuous nonsense at work is that the subject always comes up for discussion, at which point the sport is to figure out which one of your colleagues is most ignorant about immigration and which ones really just don't like Pakistani's. Idiot Bingo I call it. Great fun for all the family...............House!

Anyway, heres some Carlin in the late seventies. Lot's of creative swearing......