The Headless Uke-Man

Not long ago, I reported that I'd bought a ukelele and some of you (ok, it was 'Some Chilean Woman' ;D ) asked me to give you a tune. So here it is! It's not very good, but it's just something I put together with some words I had kicking about. Took about half an hour.

There's another one coming up, so brace yrselves....=D

God Bless David O'Reilly

Please Say Something - Full Length from David OReilly on Vimeo.

A dream-like tale in which a cat and mouse co-habit with mixed results in a distant future world. A startling and touching piece of animation that's only let down by a slightly corny ending. But then, we all love corny endings, so that's ok....... =D

Enjoy!

Ten Thousand Bulb Appeal

Ten thousand bulbs!

Just think about that for a minute. A wave of colour amongst the concrete and tarmac, defying the fag butts and crisp packets and making a rather drab corner of the city look so much better. This is what we're trying to achieve at our Townhead garden site currently tended to by Clairwil, Michael and Myself.

Ten thousand bulbs don't come cheap though, so we're looking for donations to help us on our way.

How can you help?

Ah, well there are many ways....... First of all, if you're feeling flush and a wee bit beneficent, you can make donations via Paypal at this site. We will be utterly grateful for any monies received. At the other end of the scale, the very act of visiting this 'Squidoo' website will help pay a dividend towards our funds.

Alternatively, if you live in the Glasgow area, you can always donate bulbs to us. If you plant bulbs and are likely to have anything spare, we'd happily give a home to any of the following...

Mixed Daffodils

Mixed Tulips

Snakeshead Fritillary

Snowdrops

Mixed Crocuses

Bluebells (native only please)

Grape Hyacinths

Winter Aconites

Mixed Alluims

Wood Anenome

Let me know in the comments section and we can take it from there.

Even if you just know something the rest of us don't and can let us in on where to get the most for our money, we'd be happy to hear from you. ;)

Let's brighten this place up!!

Cheers!

I'll have A Chicken Tikka Something-Or-Other Please...

Ok, I know, it's just one of those daft stories that crops up every so often and one shouldn't put too much credence in it's veracity, but even the notion of it makes me borederline homicidal.

Birmingham City Council have decided that they would like to help local restaurants by ensuring the term 'balti' can only be used by Brummie proprieters, much like the whole Champagne racket. Close reading of the piece indicates that this may be a local media construct, as the council make no strong declaration, other than to say they would look into the idea, but you know what councils are like, and how these things have a habit of spiralling out of control.

Next thing you know, Glasgow will be telling everyone to think of another name for the Tikka Masala........

Do we need this parochialism? Do we need insane protectionism?

Do we all need air vents in our skulls?

It won't happen (just try telling Mr Adeel to stop using the fucking term on his menu, I dare you...), but it does give you a depressing insight into the mental workings of yr average local authority decision maker and the craven, arse-licking local press who justify them on a daily basis.

Below are a couple of segments from a film made in the late seventies about Irish motorcycle road racing. In Ireland, they take road racing literally, in that public roads, often no wider than driveways in some places, are closed to the public and turned into raceways on selected weekends throughout the spring and summer. This is a wee tribute to Joey Dunlop, who died in a racing accident in Estonia nine years ago on Thursady last. It's a fine portrait of him as a young man, as well as a great snapshot of Irish road racing at the time (1977), which some would contend hasn't changed all that much in the intervening thirty years.


Part 1

Part 2

Beer Of The Week

Let me see........

"Official Beer of England"
"Definitely Not For Aussies"

Then a back label blurb that gurgles "Sit back and enjoy the Ashes series in style with this easy drinking pale ale, crafted using the finest English hops and barley with passion and desire to beat the Aussies & cheer England to victory."

Does that make sense? Do the finest English hops and barley have the passion and desire to beat the Aussies, or is it referring to the drinker? If so, how does one sit back and enjoy something with passion and desire? Is it a cricket thing?

Does the Australian equivalent have a slogan along the lines of "You've No Chance Ya Pommy Bastards!"?

It matters not to be honest, it's £1.19 a bottle and tastes rather nice.

Thankfully, in Scotland we're far too civilised to get too excited by a silly game like cricket. We prefer proper sports like high tig, thumb wrestling and chap-door-runaway .

Give Me Pound Shops Or Give Me Death

The next whingeing whelp who writes into the Evening Times to gurn about the proliferation of shops that aren't M&S, Boots or Sainsbury's in Glasgow city centre is gonna get a turd through their letterbox. Fucking hell, to hear them bleat on you'd think every second shop on Sauchiehall Street & Argyll Street was a twenty bob stop of some sort. Even if it was, so fucking what? Those streets have always had their tat shops and glorified sport-sock retailers. You want posh? Go to fucking Edinburgh! Or maybe the lower end of Buchanan Street.............

Then there was the girl at work who had never eaten a scone. Is that possible? Reports that she passed out with excitement when someone tried to describe pancake to her are as yet unsubstantiated..............

Everyone on the planet has had a scone at some time in their life, whether they wanted one or not. Visits to your aunt's house on a sunday afternoon were always fraught with the dangers of being left with the cake-stand outcasts. All it took was a poorly timed toilet break and all the Taxi's, Breakaways and Jammy Dodgers would be nestling in your brothers trouser pockets, leaving you with the odious fruit slice, the foul lemon fingers and and those dry, scabby looking, but ultimately edible scones.

Right, I'm off to a branch of "Everythings A Fucking Quid" to buy a pack of 100 half empty AA batteries, some place-mats with Labradors on and a screwdriver kit and I'll still have enough left from a tenner to get the messages in at Lidl!

To quote Joe Fagin, "That's Livin' Alright"

Swells

As if last week's Michael Jackson/Farah Fawcett '2 for 1' deal wasn't fascinating enough for a rubber-necking scumbag like me, the news comes through that SHOUTY MUSIC JOURNO Steven Wells has also relocated to a quieter suburb.

I don't really remember much of his writing in the NME, though his by-line meant you'd get a few laughs if nothing else. I was more of an Melody Maker chick to be honest. In the intervening years since I gave up reading the weekly music comics, it seems he'd relocated across the Atlantic and was plying his scabrous, contrarian trade over there when he fell ill with cancer.

Och!

Anyway, just a thought God, but any chance of a similar run this week, but on slightly more deserving targets? I'm watching the Glastonbury coverage on BBC just now, and I can think of at least three of the presenters.........Or possibly the whole of Blur.

That would be nice.

As I said, just a thought...