Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Coming To A Tourist Attraction Near You

Hello As those of you who have been to Clairwil already know, a site has been set up to chronicle our hopefully numerous jaunts around the countryside of Scotland. It is called The Gyp and will serve as a combined photoblog and chronicle of whatever nonsense we happen to get up to. We also plan to take in more exotic locations in England, Ireland and mainland Europe. Go to the site, bookmark it and keep an eye on updates. You too could be joining us in our travels.

I've noticed that the cartoons of Mohammed printed in Jyllands Posten, a Danish newspaper are continuing to cause ructions. It would seem that Danes, and Swedes for that matter, are distinctly persona non grata with an increasing number of Islamic countries. The cartoons were generally crude, tabloid and unfunny. They also deliberately disrespected Islam in the sense that graphic depictions of the prophet are strictly forbidden. I would say it's immaterial what some bunch of non believers, in their own country, make of your religion, but Islam, certainly in the east, is something of a Universal religion and as such a blasphemy, no matter how frivolous is regarded with a degree of seriousness that we find difficult to fathom. Goodnight.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Sad News

For those who frequent Baruchitos Homecage, the little feller is no more. Looks like a combination of old age and flea infestation did for him. Och! The Mischief has a new Blog Of The Week poll. All nominees are top notch and worth a look. In the abscence of any rude or interesting Search Engine requests I shall simply link a couple of albums I bought recently that I think are rather special. Tortoise And Bonnie Prince Billy- The Brave And The Bold Cat Power- Speaking For Trees Goodnight.

A Day Spent Waking Up

It's late, I'm tired................These are the best bit's from todays wander in the west end.


Friday, January 27, 2006

Don't Smoke 'em All At Once.

Theres a group of them hang out at the corner shop down the road from my house and go to the all girl catholic state school in the area. They're about fourteen, short, a bit ugly, voices like foghorns....they euphemistically ask me to 'go intae the shop' for them. One day I will. I'll come out with a Herald and a Mars bar. Anyway, being perpetually almost late for work, I usually say no. I also say no because i've no intention of getting embroiled in their clandestine activities. I do it once, they'll be hanging about waiting for me to get them again. Anyway, I got called an arsehole for my lack of charity this morning. I'm an arsehole? Who's hanging about in the biting wind and rain at 8.30 am, waiting for some plonker to buy them a pack of fags? I do sympathise. It's a pain in the arse not being able to buy yr own until you're sixteen, but they obviously haven't the brains to source their fags from a shop that'll sell them to them or to nick them off their parents. Goodnight.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Slow Day In Hell



Little to report i'm afraid. I'm also tired and blogger is acting up. I'm holding back a small piece for 'A Mischief Of Magpies' until tomorrow.


Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Search Engine Hit Parade

Far be it for me to pass judgement on what all you mentally ill fuckers type into Google or MSN, but I have decided some of these are too good to keep to myself and have decided to hold a weekly chart for the most outrageous query typed into a search engine, courtesy of my trusty tracker...................... In reverse order. At No3 it's that hardy perenial "Fuck+ Me" Not until you wash your mouth out with carbolic young man................ No2, it's the slightly saucier but no less romantic "Man+With+A+Hard+On" This week's No1 however is the truely majestic and probably never to be topped "Lost+Virginity+3+Way+Man+Filmed+Closet" I hope he or she found what it was they were looking for. I know I did....................... Gutte nacht mein Kinder.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

The Things You Find In Alleyways

Hello. A few shots from an early evening walk about the west end of Glasgow.

The last of these shots is actually a section of mural found on the rear wall of the Western Baths, just off Byres Road. It can be found in a little lane running between the library and the baths. If anyone wants to see the whole thing, give me a shout and i'll post it up. That said, this frame is easily the most arresting of the five I shot.


Before I Pass Out...............

Mischief Of Magpies Blog Of The Week competition. Get voting. Going to bed now. Goodnight.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

In The Abscence Of Anything Worth Saying.

River Kelvin from Belmont Street Bridge

Glasgow High School

Unidentified Spire, Kelvingrove.

View from Park Circus towards Maryhill

Snowfall in Dryburgh Gardens.

Greetings! A day off spent waiting for a washing machine repair man and special delivery package have taken their toll and I am in a cunt of a mood. I almost wish I had been at work. Hoping for some bright weather tomorrow so I can take some shots, but in reality I will probably spend the day floating about like a fart in a trance and watching the football scores roll in. I hope your weekend is a fraction or two less tedious...............

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Taking The Pistoiese

"Aye, ye were worth every penny ya Useless lump of wid!" Partick Thistle it seems, have just been shafted by FIFA, The SFA and the Italian equivelent of East Stirlingshire for £20,000. The costs are alledgedly for the "Training Compensation" of one Adrian Madaschi(two links). It seems the club signed him as a free agent from Italian club Atalanta. Prior to this he had been on loan to a small Italian Serie C club called AC Pistoiese. Needless to say, if we'd known we would have to pay out for the hopeless big fud we wouldn't have bothered signing him.................... The rammifications for any club taking on young players before they turn 24 could be very severe. I can see now how the club will have to pay up, but the rule has been abused and it's only a matter of time before it happens to a club with a deal more clout than Thistle and the loopholes are closed. On the other hand, if Thistle sit back and let it happen, a precedent will have been set and it will make fighting any future claims very hard indeed. I know 20 grand is small change in Premiership terms, but believe me, when your club has fallen two divisions in two years, has to pay for the upkeep of a 10,000 capacity stadium they were Blackmailed into building, plays to average crowds of about two and a half thousand and loses out on players to a team from a village on the English/Scottish border due to the tightness of it's budget................20 grand is an awful lot of money. A couple of related links for perusal: Court Case In Denmark Evening Times

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Some Lovely Links For All You Lovely People........

Hello. First of all, I'd like to draw your attention to some new links. They are as follows: This Cheese Stands Alone American Housewife Rants. Very Amusing. Trout Factory Notebook From Japan. Nice photos. Castro's Favourite Color Sharp US political blog. Religion Hunter Chap takes a whistle stop tour of religion. Not In My Bible Virulent anti-Bush diatribes. The other new ones have been linked here and elsewhere before. A new Blog Of The Week poll is up at A Mischief Of Magpies. Three cracking blogs on show, so please vote for the one that tickled your fancy the most. On another subject completely, the following revelation had me in shock for a few minutes tonight. Apparently my mother has received from her employers an hour off as a birthday present. I don't think I have the words to decribe the contempt with which I would treat such an insulting gift. Why bother? Some plank somewhere in the company has obviously come up with this wheeze as a way of making it's employees feel more valued. Like the time everyone was 'treated' to a roll and sausage for all their 'hard work over christmas'? If that's valuing your employees i'd hate to see what happens when they decide to treat you like shit. You have two options with employee birthdays/christmas bonuses. Either do it properly or don't do it at all. It would seem this employee should just not do it at all. It's less insulting that way. I must state for the record that these are my opinions on something that was related to me by a third party. My mother was actually not too bothered about her 'gift', though what she thought of the Christmas Sausage Roll is another thing entirely. Goodnight.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Church Spires In Silhouette from Belmont Street Bridge. New Years Day 2006. Good Evening folks. Saw 'Memoirs Of A Geisha' tonight and i'm still picking the shards out of my eyes. It's had a few indifferent reviews, the main complaint being it's superficiality. Not having read the book, I can't comment on the narrative beyond the fact that it's a fairly likeable love story and deals with the consequences of a Geisha falling in love, but by jove, if you must be superficial, at least do it properly. .............And they do, believe me! I was floored. By the lushness of the sets, the gorgeous cinematography, the the stunning outfits and make-up. The whole thing was an absolute pleasure to behold. Oh, and as I said, not a bad old yarn either...........................

Friday, January 13, 2006


Poor David Duff, he's had his name AND persona hijacked. I could be wrong, but I think this is only the thin end of the wedge................ Not much else to add really, except to say that Blog Of The Week is still going over at A Mischief Of Magpies and i'd really like to see a few more votes on the board, regardless of which one you like best. Two new blogs in my links tonight. The Immediate and They Promised Us Jet Packs....... Both are fairly new and are deserving of patronage. Cheers! Fergus. Christmas Day 05

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

A Walk Around The Manor................

New Year's Day 2006 Kelvin Stevenson Memorial Church, North Kelvinside

The River Kelvin, Kelvingrove Park

Looking Towards Kelvingrove Art Galleries from Skate Park In Kelvingrove Park

Hello. January's been a bit of a struggle. Not in the best of moods right now and any cheer I may have had over christmas has vapourised completely. Another two months of gale force winds, pissing rain and not a bit of blue sky to be seen..................Bugger. So, to combat such miseries i've chucked together some of the less lame photo's I took on new Years day in Kelvingrove and the surrounding area.

They've been reduced in size rather more than i'd like so I hope they don't lose much of whatever it was I thought they had.................

ill man

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Cup Madness

The third round of the Football Association Cup on both sides of the border is always something of a gala weekend. It's the round in which teams in the upper half of the league structure come into play, sometimes against teams in their own division, sometimes against pretenders from the league below or more unusually against teams so far below them that on paper at least, the tie becomes something of a mockery. Mockery? Ha! tell that to Burton Albion. Tell that to Nuneaton Burough. Tell that to Torquay United. Tell that to the other lower and non league sides that gave a variety of big clubs an almighty fright. In Scotland too there were some jaw dropping acts of giant killing. Non league Spartans sent Queens Park away from Edinburgh with their tails between theirn legs. 2nd division strugglers Alloa Athletic were only held to a draw by SPL team Livingston after conceding a last minute goal. Gretna, the team at the top of the SFL 2nd division managed to despatch St Johnstone, a team from the league above. SPL sides Dunfermline Athletic and Motherwell were both humbled by teams a division below, in Motherwells case, to the tune of a three nothing thrashing by St Mirren. None of this of course could prepare ANYONE for what was about to happened at Broadwood today. Clyde, a club in no little financial strife, with a meagre support and a team of players put together at the start of the season during a series of trials and under rookie managers Graham Roberts and Joe Millar have been slowly working their way up into a position behind First Division pace setters St Mirren this season. The tie against Celtic was seen as a money spinner. A Full house of 8000 and if they played their cards right, the possibility of a replay at Parkhead and the share of a, for arguements sake, gate of about 25-30,000. What actually transpired was a performance of breathtaking guile and endeavour as Clyde crashed through the SPL leaders like a herd of rhino. They won 2-1, had THREE goals chopped off and a penalty saved. The score flattered Celtic. All the horseshit about Roy Keane, all the wank about how Celtic were certs........................HA FUCKIN HA!!!. "They don't like it up 'em" as Corporal Jones would have it. As a Partick Thistle fan, I will say I have a deep well of antipathy towards Clyde, otherwise known as the Bully Wee, The Lodgers, The Gypo's.........They are the sworn enemy of your average Jags fan, but tonight i'm more than made up for them. Going by the responses at ptfc.net, I'm not the only one. Well done Clyde, enjoy it, I know I will......................... On a seperate subject, I've got "Worlds Wildest Police Videos" on at the moment. Wonderful idea for a TV show. Idiots on the run from the law, filmed from the dashboards of police cars. Great idea, except for the prescence of one John Bunnell. What a sanctimonious, creepy little twat this guy is. All I need is someone to tell me roughly what's going on in fairly measured tones, then i'll fill in the blanks myself. I do not need some ex Sheriff who sounds like Mr Garrison from South Park telling me that "These felons thought they could buck the Florida Highway Patrol, instead they'll be spending the next two years in State Pen" Argh!!! I know some folk think he's the best bit of the show and have right hoot at him, but not being stoned/drunk, I don't quite share that sentiment.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Fifteen Facts About Chuck Norris

Ok, these have been doing the rounds for a few weeks. I must admit, the part of me that is still fifteen years old finds these very funny. It has overruled my better judgement and decided to produce a blog post about the phenomenon. Normal service will be resumed tomorrow. 1-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. 2-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death. 3-The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. 4-Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. 5-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. 6-To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong. 7-When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever. 8-Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. 9-Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris 10-Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did. 11-At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris 12-Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer. 13- chuck norris once roundhouse kicked mr t at the exact moment mr t punched him in the chest. the result was the 80's 14-How many CHUCK NORRIS’S does it take to screw in a light bulb…WHAT!? CHUCK NORRIS doesn’t need light. Light needs CHUCK NORRIS. 15-CHUCK NORRIS died 10 years ago, but Death is too afraid to tell that to CHUCK NORRIS More can be found here if you haven't yet lost the will to live................ In other news, the Blog Of The Week nominations by yours truly are on show at The Mischief All are worthy candidates so have a gander at them all and vote accordingly.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

"A Mischief Of Magpies" Blog Of The Week Poll

Still running and very much wide open. Or is it? Haven't looked at it today......... Anyway, if you haven't already done so, run along now and check out all the nominations before casting your vote. Ok, check this one out. Worth it for the sterling bitch off at her would be sister in law. The rest of it's a bit ho-hum though.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

A Proper Happy New Year To You All

Must apologise for my unpleasant demeanour over Christmas and New Year. I find it tedious, expensive and tiresome. That said, some lovely people have popped in to wish me a happy new year, so I feel I ought to do it properly and wish all those that pass this way a decent new year. All the best and be not afraid to pass on yr pearls of wisdom more often. Even if it is to comment on the general poverty of my posting.................... Talking of which, I see from a quick rumble around blogland that a lot of people have made it their new years resolution to start a blog. Like resolutions though, I doubt many of them will be followed through. My only resolution was not to make resolutions.................. It's the only way to be even moderately happy. Caught sight of the demonic Gillian McKeith tonight on tv. Why are people so happy to be squacked at by this pinched and bitten little health nazi? It's like Trinny and Suzanna except instead of getting a spiffy new wardrobe to go with the ear bashing, you get some middle aged bonebag who probably has an enema for breakfast chastising you for enjoying the odd pint or bottle of wine. Ok, so I'm a physical wreck and "Enjoy" more than just the odd pint, but i'll be fucked if i'm going to do the detox goosestep to justify that horrid old hag and the massed ranks of lifestyle hacks who live for this part of the year to prey upon our insecurities about our health. Oh, and Gillian, I have five words for you. Jim Fixx and Charles Bukowski. Wouldn't that be hilarious? Anyway, interesting Death Row blog here and an accompanying site here, giving some background info. Seems a compelling enough case for the defense. Some feedback on this would be appreciated. Goodnight. *Picture taken at top of Kelvingrove on New Years Day. One of few "Accidentals" I manged to to take on my little traipse around my manor that day.

Monday, January 02, 2006

So, Who Did Kill The Sitcom?

David Liddiment asks the question. The answer of course, is nobody. It just evolved. Sweet Jesus. Oh, and Carla Lane really was a stupid, talent free old cow.