Terminus

Thankyou mother! Thankyou for the lovely cold!

I feel fine actually, it's just that when I swallow, I feel like I've been eating hot gravel for a month.

No man-flu here, just frustration at not being able to have a drink until the inflamation in my throat goes down.

I trust you all had a decent Christmas? Mine was ok, a financial pleasure at least............... Oh, and a giant box of Daz washing powder! Apparently my brother and his girlfriend reckon I need it. Cheeky fuckers! I prefer liquid anyway, less mess and hassle plus it tastes better........... I've never been one to turn down freebies, so I'll find a use for it.

Ok, so as we wind our way through the tedious post-Christmas fallout and into the waiting arms of the New Year, I thought I'd be dead original and make a wee list. It went something like this....

Album of The Year - That Lucky Old Sun by Brian Wilson.

Blog of The Year - A straight fight between Cocktails & Records and Velo-Gubbed Legs. C&R takes it by two falls to a submission.

Commenter of The Year - It's probably Cocktails, but Kim Ayres put in a late spurt recently, so I'll give it to him for popping his head round the door when it seemed like I was not only talking to myself, but on the verge answering myself back.

Web-Comic of the Year - A new category, and it goes to the one and only 'Married To The Sea'. Read it over your Shreddies and feel fractionally better about being a chump with a shite job. Sometimes, 'fractionally better' is all it takes to get you out the door in the morning, so don't knock it!

Most Satisfying Thing in 2008 - Watching facebook and bebo die a death of a thousand cuts at the hands of spammers and viruses.

Moment of Truth- Realising I'd never be a touring folk singer.

Moment of Joy - I'm a Partick Thistle & Glasgow Tigers fan. I know nothing of such things......

Moment of Despair - Tigers 45 Monarchs 46 & Thistle 0 Airdrie 1 Both on the same day as I recollect...............

Still, I did learn a bit about gardening, thanks to my good friend Clairwil, as well as taking some of my best photos yet and getting the cheeky idea that I might be able to make a living out of it.

Ok, class dismissed! Single file and no running................

Grinding To A Halt

Blogging ought to be like riding a bike, you should never forget how to do it. However, it's starting to feel like I've done just that. Or maybe I just need to adjust the saddle, fix the brakes and oil the chain. It's also possible that I can't be arsed this weather. It's no excuse though, I used to be able to just write any old horse-shite off the top of my head. Some would contend that I still do, and that this is half the problem. Maybe I should maybe sell the bike and find something else to do.............. On the upside, there will be more Frederick Characteracter stories coming along (if you can bear the suspense of waiting for the next installment!), as well as a few more painfully unamusing 'celebrity endorsements'. The Seasons1:Autumn photo blog is coming to an end, so do please have a look. There shall be a new one in the spring, going by the entirely predictable title of Seasons2:Spring I'm also adding stuff to my Fotonomy account, though 'd say the site is worth going to just to see some of the stunning photos posted up by the other members.

Things Are Not Going To Plan

I'm afraid you'll have to be on the look out for my posts in the next week or so, they may be a tad infrequent. Made the rather silly mistake of switching off my pc at the mains while it was still on and suddenly the keyboard and mouse are fucked. It should be sorted soon, but not soon enough, if you know what I mean....................

Anyway, check Tigers At The Tapes for last weekends thrilling speedway coverage, and the new photo blog too.

Dawn Of The Dead: The Desk Jockey Years

That's it! I've hit the wall. I am no longer young and I need to sleep!

This little epiphany dawned on me today as I almost nodded out in the office. Eyes going fuzzy and feeling like lead weights, unable to move from page to screen and back again without concerted effort, they close briefly and suddenly gravity cracks me one on the back of the head and I'm heading face first for the keyboard. The shock snaps me out just in time and a little adrenalin rush perks me for another five minutes. I look around to see if anyone noticed (they hadn't) and made my way wearily back to the kitchen for more coffee.

I now realise I need to be asleep by 1amv at the latest, that I can't really drink too much on a school night and that buying pakora from the carry out at the bottom of the road at 2.15am is not really good idea. Theres nothing worse than admitting defeat, but there you are.............

Of course, in the old days I'd get leathered on cheap cider or rum miniatures, then happily do a six hour shift in a kitchen the following day. Piece of piss mate! Nowadays, it only takes a couple of shandies to make me feel a bit grubby next day. Also doesn't help that my life is that bit more sedentary now. The job occassionally calls for a bit of physical work, but more often than not I'm stuck at a PC, exercising nothing more than my right forefinger. I actually look forward to filing work. Means I'm out of the beady eyed glare of my boss and I'm able to move about and keep myself awake.

Sometimes I miss the 'pissing adrenalin' effect I got from my last job. Phone work means you're constantly on edge, as does working in a payroll office where everything has to be kept ahead of itself from week to week.

So, that's why I'm blogging now and not at 1am. I actually wanna get through tomorrow without having half a dozen narcoleptic episodes and have everyone think I'm on smack or something. Not that it matters I suppose. The new overlords look to be in Alan Sugar mode, firing people left, right and centre. Ok, technically they're 'laying people off', but that doesn't really fit in with the blatant pop culture reference, does it?

"You're Being Made Redundant!" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Am I next? Who knows. They've layed off most of the IT dept in Glasgow and got rid of the cash room. It all points one way to me and I'm not pleased. The last fucking thing I need to be doing just now, about to move into a house and trying to get something approaching savings together, is to be looking over my shoulder and having to find a new job.

Cunts!

Ok, heres what's amusing me on the internet tonight.

Mustafio, he make me smile. So does Billy, the stuff about the Heathrow Airport expansion is eye-popping. Matt at Oblong Scone ponders the nature of door holding etiquette and religious zealotry, while professional smart arse Dan Allen hi-lights sports journalism cliches and wonders why nobody's used the headline "San Diego Padres molested the Twins" . Quite frankly, the standard of sports journalism is universally bad, but considering the fucking ludicrous names the Yanks give their sports teams, I'm quite astonished that nobody has given in to the temptation...........

Dan, we salute you!

And Lo, They Came Bearing Feather Dusters............

......................and a manic gleam in their eyes that told me they would not be taking "Aw Naw!" for an answer. It's clear out time at iLL Man Towers and I'm taking cover. Lesson 1. Living with yr folks is neither big, nor clever.......

Anyway, here are some things I may or may not need some advice on.....

1 - Soup. I'm in the mood again for a bit of liquid sorcery. I whipped together a sort of Spring veg thingy at the weekend, but I'm looking for something new and unique. I know for a fact a few of you out there have some little soupy secrets to divulge. Go on, make my week.....

2 - I'm off to Gretna at the weekend. I wish I could tell you all I was eloping, but alas, hell has a better chance of getting a little light frost than I have of forming a meaningful relationship with a member of the opposite sex. Football I'm afraid. I'm off to see Thistle get pumped by.......I mean play Gretna. It's been a bit of a week for the club all told. It looks like we're staring into the financial abyss again. At least last time we had a refurbished main stand, state of the art floodlights, undersoil heating and a fucking huge stand to show for the debt we were in. This time all we have is a pile of rubble at one end of the ground and a botched property deal. Oh, and a team that would have a hard time against the local amateurs.......My club needs me. More to the point, I need my club.....

3 - The more curious and observant among you will have noticed that the iLL Man blog empire is expanding. Feel free to drop in and say hello. On the subject of comments, I have noticed that it takes a certain kind of post to generate feedback from people. Now, I'm not going to look back through my posts and find out what the formula is. It would be 'posting-by-rote' and since this blog is an exercise in self indulgence, I feel it would become something of a chore to come up with things that I feel people would respond to. I realised long ago that I'm far too random to get much of a gang in tow.

4 - Following on from the above point. Can I have shout outs from all my lurkers. If you've never commented, then do so now and forever haud yer piece....

5- I'm off to bed, I'm fucked.......

I Was Here All The Time You Know......

After spending the last week or so slowly disappearing up my own arse, I've decided to return and blog properly. The short story thing is ok once in a while, but I'm sure most of you are fairly non-plussed by them. I smell a new blog in the offing.......

To be honest, I sometimes find it easier to write something fictional(or at least semi-fictional) than to sit and let you all know what I've been up to, or what's rumbling around my head, or whatever it is that very good bloggers do to entertain their readers. It's time I stopped being so bloody evasive and engaged with the world.

Ok, first up, some blogging news. Clairwil is still obsessed with Councillor Terry Kelly and I have to say, I am too. I think you'll agree, he has a unique and alarmingly peculiar style of debate. We could all learn so much from him.

Flying Rodent is in fine form at the moment, what with this post and this post putting me in what the youngsters call a 'ROTFLMAO' situation. I believe it's popular amongst the under fives.....

Sandra, who used to be Over Here is going back 'Over There'. There is speculation about what what she'll call the blog now that she's back in Northern Ireland but hopefully she'll take no notice of my suggestion that she rename it 'Dr Danger & The Ketchup Incident'.......



Sunday saw me slope into Fopp to do some CD comfort buying. Two compilation albums were bought. One being a sort of round up of Glasgow bands old, new and obscure. It's ok, but I haven't the heart nor the patience top listen all the way through. The other comp cd got even shorter shrift. It's a collection of what the packaging rather enigmatically dubs "Soft Pop". basically it's sugary sweet sixties AM radio 45's released by Warner Bros. Fine in theory, I like that sort of thing in small doses, but to be honest a lot of it's utter dreck. Track one, 'Come To The Sunshine' by Harpers Bizarre (written by Smile co-writer Van Dyke Parks) was as far as I got. The next three tracks almost had me sick on the carpet.

Also bought a Buffalo Springfield album. Love Neil Young, not so sure about Steven Stills. Sorry.

Scott 4 was also picked up for a fiver. That whole baroque pop thing can be a little hard to take when it's done really seriously but I think it'll fall into that "when I'm in the mood" category. failing that it'll get played twice and never again, I'm fickle like that.....

The last purchase was Marquee Moon by Television. I will make no excuses for my utter love and devotion to this album. If I had to listen to only one Rock'n'Roll record for the rest of my life, this would be it. I have it already on CD, but for once the bonus tracks swayed me and the chance of hearing Little Johnny Jewel outweighed the inevitable disappointment of the "Alternate Takes" also available. Alternate take? Oh, you mean the shit version they did just before they got the song right? Well worth the cd space if you asks me......

Right, I'm off to do the dishes....