Monday, November 05, 2007

Remember, Remember.............To Sellotape Your Letterbox Shut

Let's face it, when it comes to lobbing exploding things about, the human race really doesn't need much in the way of an excuse. Why the fuck do you think we like going to war? Why the fuck did they invent the nuclear bomb?

We like things that go BANG!! It's that simple

Guy Fawkes is just such an excuse, and along with New Year (ask a Dutch friend...) it's the pinnacle of our race's achievements with regard to making a fucking racket and scaring pensioners and household pets. I must say, I do like fireworks, but I have to confess that I find the idea of them being so easy to buy slightly disturbing. The average back yard fireworks show is a rather dreary affair all told. Dad buys about thirty quids worth of cheapo fireworks, sets them off and then everyone wanders back inside out of the cold. Pure anti-climax. Take it from one who, as a kid, saw one too many rockets tip over and fly into the neighbours pot plants or had to yawn through yet another malfunctioning Catherine Wheel as my Dad tried set off a Roman Candle without giving himself third degree burns. (I think I covered all this last year now I think of it..........)

Of course, the feral kids and wee hardnuts get to run riot in the backstreets with them. Bangers seem to be the weapon of choice. Easy to throw and loud as fuck. If acting like an obnoxious prick for most of the year doesn't quite do it for you, Guy Fawkes is a rare treat, as you can then upgrade yourself briefly to 'Evil Little Cunt' status.

Anyway, have a nice night and hope you enjoyed the whizzbangs. Me, I'm off to see if my flat is still there.............


The Birdwatcher said...

I know I am a miserable old bastard but I am glad its all over for another year. Its been like Beruit here for the past couple of nights during the worst of the civil war For fucks sake they were even setting them off during the day yesterday lunchtine. How dumb is that unless you really are just into the noise.

iLL Man said...

Theres no such thing as an inappropriate time to let off a firework for these guys.