Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Friends, Forgive My Absence, I've Been Away Making Snuff Movies In Belize

Of course I haven't!! It was Guatemala............. Anyway, talking of copping yer whack, it looks like I'm up for possible redundancy at the end of the month. It's hard to say how I feel about all of this. On one hand, I need to work to pay my way, but on the other, if they got shot of me, I doubt I'd give much of a fuck. Jobs are hard to find this weather, but I think if I lowered my sights just a notch, I'd find something. I don't think I'm for the chop though. Don't ask why, but going on the selection criteria, I think there are a couple in the queue before me. Sadly, one of my colleagues has taken to chewing the furniture and getting in a bit of a tizzy. She's easily the most competent person in the section, but she's driving herself mad, to the point where she's convinced HR have it in for her and will take this opportunity to ditch her. She's an awkward sod for sure, but if they ditch her I might as well get out a too. It's a ship of fools as it is, so if they do make redundant the only person in the department who knows their arse from their elbow, I doubt I'll be able to take any of it remotely seriously. So, what's everyone else been up to?
How about Cocktails?
Cocktails has been mulling over the question of one's earliest memory and the effect in has on who or what you become in later life. As stated in the comments section of her original post, my earliest memory was probably on a beach on the Isle of Man, playing with an orange & black football. Somehow it ended up in the sea and floated off into the wide blue yonder. The effect it had upon me at the time was not documented, but I can say with some certainty that I'd rather have had the football to play with than not. I have wondered on the odd occassion, just where a cheap plastic football kicked into the Irish Sea by a bent-footed three year old would end up. Did it deflate and sink? Did it wash up on a faraway shore? Did it circumnavigate the globe and return to it's point of origin? I don't remember if my parents bought me another one. Why would I? I was only three........ Other good stuff I've read and seen recently, but forgot about. Ed Milliband Robert Louis Stevenson The Cockenspiel (apologies in advance) Didier Drogba Finally, a snippet from a current YouTube favourite that seemed to get consigned to the backwater of BBC3 some years ago, sandwiched between their interminable "Two Pints of Lager & A Packet of Crisps" marathons. Snuff Box - Boyfriend sketches (1-5)

7 comments:

Some Chilean Woman said...

No one believes me when I tell them about my earliest memory...

I was 1 year old and it was my birthday. There was a boy at the party with a bowl cut. He gave me a music box that played "It's a Small World After All". I had a crush on him, yes, I was a horndog by age 1.

Cocktails said...

Well, I've also watched Hayley Mills in 'Return of the Castaways' recently so maybe you should have bunged a note on that football and it could have... changed the world or something like that...

Hope your job stays ok. We're all safe (apart from pay freezes) but its never nice to even THINK about what the powers that be are thinking about people in your department.

How's your computer?

And Snuffbox? How come I don't know that?! It's the guys from The Mighty Boosh and Gareth Marenghi!

iLL Man said...

SCW - Is no man safe? =D It's weird to think that the first three years of my life are a blank. Do I just have a shite memory?

Cocktails - My guess is that it rolled up on a beach in Rio de Janeiro and some kid called Ronaldinho decided to have some fun with it...... ;)

Not sure about the job, but I'm not sweating it. I hate the whole conveyancing lark anyway, it's not like it's a career. I'll find something when it comes to the crunch.

the computer is ok. It's like George Burns, except it doesn't smoke cigars. Or make me laugh.

Love Snuffbox. Rich Fulcher is a comic genius, and Matt Berry plays the smoothest, nastiest cads I've ever seen. The reason you never saw it was that BBC 3 is 70% Two Pints and nobody wants to be watching that inane fucking shite. The comedy equivelent of dysentry.

Did you have a look at the Cockenspiel? =D

ok, maybe not...........

Cocktails said...

Yes, I did. Hours of fun. Hours...

Clairwil said...

Short term shit news about the redundancy but in the long run I'm sure it will be fine. Keep me posted on it as I'd like to make sure they follow the correct procedure in terms of pay, notice and so on. If not we shall take the tits to a tribunal. Can you email to let me know in more detail what's been said so far? I'll only worry if you don't.

Clairwil said...

I've just noticed that the blow up doll in the ten things post looks a bit like a younger Susan Boyle.

iLL Man said...

Clairwil - Remember, it's four remaining from six, so my chances are pretty good. I'll get in touch and give you a rundown on the process though.

As for Susan Boyle, I see the remblance, but it's definitly pre-makover.........