Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Is That The Time?

Jesus! It feels like an eternity since I last posted. I'm getting a bit fed up of writing these entries like periodic postcards to the outside world, but until I get mind, soul and body in order, it'll have to do. The truth is that I've been a little too tired to think about anything other than the most rudimentary blog input. Alas, I'm off until Tuesday and I'm taking myself away for most of that time. Where? Ha! I'm not telling, someone might find me. Work has been the biggest fucker. Two of our number were made redundant and we've moved to another office. The days go by quicker but the work is a few degrees more intense. Having to account for 90% of your working day was the first big shock. I shit ye not, every single thing we do in a day has to be logged and timed. For some jobs it's not a problem, but when you do half a dozen different things, it's a fucking nightmare. I spend about an hour of my day just filling the bastard fucking spreadsheet in, complete with the case numbers of everything that's crossed my desk. I keep looking for the column in the spreadsheet that says "Time spent filling in this useless piece of shit because some over-paid retard at the top of the company gets a fucking hard-on from reading statistics".
Bah! It doesn't help when one of the folk to survive the cull is contributing to the deterioration of my mental hygiene. We all know the concept of the 'man-child'. This is the 'woman-child'. I haven't had to deal with her much before, but she's starting to drive me to distraction. Job-wise, she does one thing. All day. She has done for the past four or five years. This wasn't a problem when we had high volumes of work and everyone was assigned a duty. Now we all need to be able to do each others jobs and while this is no problem for most sentient beings, fat arse has done nothing but wheedle and whine like an irritating five year old. Fuck! If I hear her simpering on about how she misses our much loathed old boss, or how she's fed up of getting emails from the team leader updating us on our new roles, or how she doesn't like the new office, I'll end up snapping and cramming one of her filthy cheese spread white bread sandwiches down her craw with a rolled up Land Certificate!! At the very least I might ask her to experiment with eating with her fucking mouth closed. All I hope is that management and HR realise they got it wrong when they decided to jettison the smartest cookie in the pack and keep this stammering, simple minded fucktard. There, all gone. A little weight off my chest.................. Feels better already. So, that's the state of play in my world. Borderline psychosis, fatigue, anger management issues etc............... What about the rest of you? Has the very notion of going to work made you physically ill in recent weeks? Are you having a wonderful time in a land of milk and honey where nobody cares when you come and go and free gym membership and prostitutes? Are you constantly justifying yourself to an off-hand, shit thick time server who looks at you like you've just vomitted on their lap? Do you get to watch YouTube and I-Player on your company's internet connection and spend your days emailing clips of swearing hamsters and old Rainbow episiodes to workmates? Are you a smug comfort-zoner or are you a down-trodden prole? Answers on the back of the usual beermat. Behold! U2 Are Shit! as are Coldplay, Metallica


last year's girl said...

I have every sympathy. I think, from previous correspondence, we work in the same "industry", and I found myself in a similar situation pretty recently. It's in the process of sorting itself out, but yeah... not nice. Thinking of you.

iLL Man said...

Cheers Lis! I'm currently looking elsewhere for work, four years in one place is too much.

Cocktails said...

Well, that was a cheery post!

No, sounds awful. I am relieved that I am not in a similar situation. My boss has no personal skills and makes Scrooge look generous, but I have a certain amount of autonomy. I am in a department of one - this definitely has some good points.

I have done time sheets before and they are hell, particularly in their refusal to admit that such a skill as multi-tasking exists.

Hope things work out all right. Remember, you can always go and work at a holiday camp!

Anonymous said...

I've spent the last week eating toblerones. I'm happy.

Some Chilean Woman said...

You get to watch Youtube at work? Hospitals suck!

The Birdwatcher said...

Its difficult to post at the moment. I blame the establishment. I think they have put something in the water.

iLL Man said...

Cocktails - I just can't understand the reasoning behind these things. You can't fart now without someone high up in the company wanting to know about it.

David - Sadly, there's no money in that this weather.

SCW - Alas, no. I think some people do though.

Birdwatcher - Special Brew I think.

Fat Sparrow said...

I've been disabled for the last 6 years.

Recently, I was opining that I kind of missed work.

Until I read your post, that is. It just brought back to me all the cunts I've worked for/with.