Summer Is Ready When You Are.........

I wasn't cut out for this blogging thing you know........

I never remember anything, I think of things during the day but the ideas disappear out the window as soon as I think of them. I have notions, but I fail to pull them out of the air and they fuck off back into the ether for some other chancer to pummel into submission on an even more third rate journal of banality. Fuck!

Not sure what the problem is. Maybe it's the mortgage I've just taken out. The whole thing has kind of knocked me sideways a bit and I'm wondering if I'll ever move in. As I work for a firm of solicitors who deal in conveyancing, I realise that there are various interests involved and that these things sometimes take time. Getting three or more seperate solicitors to actually communicate with each other and fucking do something for you seems to be a forlorn hope and one can only use the time to save some cash and get the direct debits/standing orders in place. Still, could be worse. I know someone who is attempting to move from a quarter share of a Shared ownership property to 100% share,disponing it from her name to that of her and her husband. They also happen not to share surnames......................

I think they're having to make up about half a dozen dispositions just to get both their names on the one set of title deeds. I know people who don't take their husbands name can be a pain in the tits from an admin or legal position, but surely it can't be that big a problem to resolve?

Anyway, I'm also bummed cos my man on the Tour de France, Michael Rasmussen got hoofed out unceremoniously by his team for being economical with the truth as to his whereabouts prior to the tour. I'm sure even the least interested of you know something about this...........

He was leading, had passed every dope test and was about to win the race, but cycling is in a major meltdown over cheating allegations and the suspicions surrounding Rasmussen were enough to see him ejected. A case of guilty until proven innocent. The amusing thing is that the guy who inherited the lead from Ras has similar suspicions surrounding him, due to his previous prescence in a team known for collective doping. As virtually last man standing, they won't dare kick him out, but it does make you wonder...............

The whole thing brings to mind the problem of proving a negative.

Replace "Have you stopped beating your wife Mr Jones?" with "Have you stopped taking performance enhancing drugs Mr Rasmussen?"

A bit of a pickle all told.

Ok, heres some Sonic Youth. For a period of about three albums in the early-mid nineties, they were churning out catchy nuggets of noisy pop music like this. Then they disappeared up their arses again, begging us to take them seriously as 'artistes' once more. I naturally lost interest and started listening to Placebo.

I was young and stupid, cut me some slack.............

Dear God! Why Won't It Stop Fucking Raining?

First of all, this is last nights post today. I was round at Clairwil's necking the booze and as such, was unable to perform my duties as a blogger. Better late than never as one of my old teachers used to mutter. Like most of my posts, it has little or no cohesion and is naught but the random grizzlings of a 31 year old man-child.

Anyway, fucking rain!!!I realise that in Scotland we've not had it even a fraction as bad as some parts of England, but dammit!, I'm gonna have a whinge about it anyway. When I rant about this at work, I get nothing but blank stares, and quite rightly you might say. Complaining about the weather is probably the most futile waste of energy and breath known to man, with the possible exception of engaging in an arguement with Terry Kelly. Doesn't stop me raging silently at the skies and wishing a plague upon the sod who coined the phrase 'British Summertime'. The Fucker.

Welcome To The Job Gordon. Good to see he's handling it well............. Puff the chest out, throw out a few "We'll Fight Them On The Beaches" type lines, let everyone know they're in safe hands..................

Continue as normal................

I shouldn't mock, someone could have had their eye out you know............



On a more personal level, I seem to have got myself a house. Ten days ago, I got a letter from the local housing association, offering me a percentage in one of their 'Shared Ownership' properties. Seeing the size of the mortgage I'd be paying, I jumped at it, and now find myself almost in possession of the keys for a rather spacious one bedroom flat with it's own wee private bit of garden. It also has a great big kitchen, high ceilings, loads of cupboard space to stash the bodies of my vanquished foes.........Perfect. It'll be an utter cunt for the first few months while I come to terms with not being able to buy anything, but fuck it, I'm game........... I'd like to say thanks to Clairwil for the advice, suggestions and general helpfulness in what has been something of an unfamiliar territory for me. Also a big thankyou to Diane for offering me various bits and pieces of furniture and utensils, it's all very much appreciated. I should also mention my folks, without whom the whole deal would have been a non-starter.

Thankyou all................



Over to Sir Jimmy Saville for this weeks Youtube. Take it away Jim............

Ok boys-and-girls, nowthen, nowthen, as-it-'appens..........