Saturday, June 30, 2007

Dear God! Why Won't It Stop Fucking Raining?


First of all, this is last nights post today. I was round at Clairwil's necking the booze and as such, was unable to perform my duties as a blogger. Better late than never as one of my old teachers used to mutter. Like most of my posts, it has little or no cohesion and is naught but the random grizzlings of a 31 year old man-child.

Anyway, fucking rain!!!I realise that in Scotland we've not had it even a fraction as bad as some parts of England, but dammit!, I'm gonna have a whinge about it anyway. When I rant about this at work, I get nothing but blank stares, and quite rightly you might say. Complaining about the weather is probably the most futile waste of energy and breath known to man, with the possible exception of engaging in an arguement with Terry Kelly. Doesn't stop me raging silently at the skies and wishing a plague upon the sod who coined the phrase 'British Summertime'. The Fucker.

Welcome To The Job Gordon. Good to see he's handling it well............. Puff the chest out, throw out a few "We'll Fight Them On The Beaches" type lines, let everyone know they're in safe hands..................

Continue as normal................

I shouldn't mock, someone could have had their eye out you know............



On a more personal level, I seem to have got myself a house. Ten days ago, I got a letter from the local housing association, offering me a percentage in one of their 'Shared Ownership' properties. Seeing the size of the mortgage I'd be paying, I jumped at it, and now find myself almost in possession of the keys for a rather spacious one bedroom flat with it's own wee private bit of garden. It also has a great big kitchen, high ceilings, loads of cupboard space to stash the bodies of my vanquished foes.........Perfect. It'll be an utter cunt for the first few months while I come to terms with not being able to buy anything, but fuck it, I'm game........... I'd like to say thanks to Clairwil for the advice, suggestions and general helpfulness in what has been something of an unfamiliar territory for me. Also a big thankyou to Diane for offering me various bits and pieces of furniture and utensils, it's all very much appreciated. I should also mention my folks, without whom the whole deal would have been a non-starter.

Thankyou all................



Over to Sir Jimmy Saville for this weeks Youtube. Take it away Jim............

Ok boys-and-girls, nowthen, nowthen, as-it-'appens..........






7 comments:

SzélsőFa said...

Wow! Congratulations!
A new flat is always a great challange. Keep us informed, will you?

iLL Man said...

I shall Szelsofa. Whether I live happy ever after or they chuck me out after a year. Hold on tight........

Lorna said...

Yay! - well done on the flat. That's great news: I hope you're planning some sort of large and booze-fuelled house warming thingy. It woudl be only right...

David Duff said...

A man of property! Be warned, the 'Trot-lot' will hiss "Splitter!" at you. Anyway, well done and best wishes, and I suppose all it needs now is that essential 'accoutrement' ... what was her name again ... oh yes ... DIANE!

As for the rain, just remember that it is what gives us all such lovely complexions!

ill man said...

David - I do believe Diane is on her way down to kick yr bony old bum as I speak. 'accotrement' indeed!

The Trot lot? who they? I'd have taken a council flat, but I'd have died of old age by the time they got round to me.

ZinZin said...

David Duff does he still live in the 1970's? Splitter indeed.

Obsessed with those bloody trots. Immodium Duff that will sort you out.

iLL Man said...

Lorna - I don't think I'll be having a bash. Just a few mates over. The few I have........... ;)

Zinzin - Don't think Davids so much behind the times as just pulling my leg....;D