Saturday, August 18, 2007

A Head Full Of Rocks And A Belly Full Of Booze


I have been ordered to the doctors. Apparently my feet are so bad that my mother thinks I'm about to die or something. Ok, slight exaggeration, but yes, my feet are in a bad way and quite frankly, I need some kind of aversion therapy to stop me grinding my itching soles against whatever right angled surface comes to hand. I'm just waiting for a few blisters to heal before I start applying the Daktarin...............

Sorry if that's more than you needed to know.....

What is it with bosses? Why do they seem determined to ensure that their underlings have absolutely no respect for them? Maybe stomping across the room to chastise someone for absently playing patience on their pc at 4.55pm while they write out some addresses on envelopes has something to do with it. Little men being pressured by their superiors and taking it out randomly on their own minions.............It seems to be the way of things. The Big Man, who sits opposite me has a bit of cardboard with the Dept leaders name on it and an arrow next to it. Every time said boss leaves the room to go to the toilet/kitchen/out the office, he pulls this sign out and points it in the general direction of departure, like a slightly overweight and very ugly, ginger cheerleader. We all rejoice, as for a few sacred minutes we are no longer being watched...............

Should I ever attain such a position of power, my hope is that a silent assasin assails me in the night and painlessly lobotomises me or something. Team Leader = Everyone hating yr guts forever........... I think I can live without such nonsense.

Anyway. This week I suggest you visit Bock, Billy and Velo Gubbed Legs. Those are orders Private!!!

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6 comments:

Bock the Robber said...

That's very nice of you, Mr Ill-Man. Thanks for the plug.

I notice your feet are ill and you intend to apply Daktarin. Fuck.

I once shared a house with a chap who used Daktarin and I sincerely wished he would use more of it, because his bedroom was like the pits of hell.

Is this fungal-infection-disaster territory?

iLL Man said...

I'm afraid so Bock. I intend to get rid of it in the next few weeks/months. The only other thing that would help is open toed sandals to allow air to circulate a bit better around them.

The only problem is that I truly believe that men who wear such things on their feet should be shot on sight............

Never mind......

Billy said...

Thanks for the shout-out and the Pavement.

I had a fungal wotsit for a while, most annoying. For a while I was convinced my toenail was going to fall off.

Lord Milky said...

Do they smell of anything exotic?

iLL Man said...

No problem Billy. It's nice to know a few people still read this rubbish. Nothing hanging off, just constant itching and blistering.

Milky - They smell of sweat and decay. Not unlike a Sidney Devine or Daniel O'Donnell concert.

Anonymous said...

Eeeeeeuuuuuuwwwchhhhhh (sweat & decay)- tis all I can say!

Di x