Sunday, November 30, 2008

Avoid Christmas Disappointment & Stay In Bed

It's that time of year folks. The time of year when you start to do the 'heating's coming on dance'. Usually around about 5.45pm. Not long after the frostbite has set in, which of course makes dancing a tad difficult. Ventured out tonight in the freezing fog to get some messages. I did consider going back out again with the camera to get some moody fog pics, but I wasn't for doing anything until I regained the feeling in my fingers and legs, by which time I'd decided I'd rather set fire to my armpits than go back outside again. Of course, a good old cold snap is no bad thing, if only to freeze snot nosed, paranoid, mentally deficient wanker students to the pavement as they queue ACROSS the pavement to get their money from cashpoint machines. The result is the sight, all across town, of absolute fucking morons causing a major obstruction to passers by in the name of the confused notion that just because someone is behind you,they can't see your pin. Fucking hell!! It happened to me the other night and it was frankly embarrassing to have to join in with this 'dance of the retards'. I could see people joining the queue and thinking the same as me. NOBODY CAN SEE YOUR PIN IF YOU COVER THE KEYPAD!!!!!!! If someone is too close for comfort, simply fucking turn and stare at them, as I did a few weeks ago to some toolbag outside Sainsbury's. It ain't fucking difficult. In fact, it's rather satisfying and empowering. Just watch them sheepishly step back and out of your face. Even the meekest of spoddy studes should be capable of such a feat, though if passive aggression is your general MO, then I have to admit that such activity may not be for you and queuing across across the pavement must seem pretty natural........
Not my favourite BTS song, but the best one I have to hand. Still better than most stuff you'll ever hear.


Cocktails said...

I've never heard of Built to Spill, but I'm guessing that they're American and were 'recording' during the early-mid 90s?

And are you on a grim streak at the moment? Galaxie 500 are good, but not exactly Christmas cheer!

You should get some jazz into you...

iLL Man said...

Yeah, about 1993 or so. I liked a couple of their albums, bu they're lying about on vinyl and I can't play them. As I said, it's not their best, but I like it.

Grim streak? Well, I've just come off my annual Brian Wilson/Beach Boys binge, so I'm in need of something a little less sacharine.

Jazz? You sound like Howard Moon......... ;)

Jazz is ok sparingly but it kinda rubs me up the wrong way.

nmj said...

Ill man, I was guilty of queueing today in the way you describe, and I thought of this post and made sure I moved and was no longer obstructing.

iLL Man said...

Ach, I was just blowing off steam ;)

In some circumstances, it's the only way to queue, like when theres a door either side of the cash point, but when you have a line of people across the pavement and down the kerb, it just seems weird not to queue against the wall.

Anyway, if I was gonna steal someones pin, i'd do it at the check out in the supermarket....... ;)