Lurgy

On the top ten leaderboard of minor illnesses and afflictions, throat infections have to be pretty damn near the top. Raw and inflamed throat? Check! Discomfort when eating anything with that doesn't have the consistency of porridge? Check! Can't have a drink because it makes it ten times worse? Check! Temperature thru the roof? Check! Fucksticks!! Then you get the ulcers on your uvula, that really is a special joy to behold, along with when you wake up and feel like you have a half brick lodged in yr throat. In other news, I gave my old, long suffering pc it's Viking burial recently and have a shiny now piece of kit, complete with the rather snazzy, yet slightly frustrating 'Windows Vista'. The Youtube vids still takes ages to buffer though............ >:(

It's weird though. Using my dads laptop used to be the very definition of luxury. Now it feels like a 48k Sinclair Spectrum with half its rubber keys missing and no added RAM. Still, there's loads of stuff on the old pc that I lost and I'm not sure if I'll be able to get it back. No, I'm not referring to my Frankie Vaughn collection................

Photos I've taken over the past two years or so look to be irretrievable. Speedway stuff, vid clips, various other bits and bobs I used to rely on. I sometimes wonder what I got an external drive for in the first place, other than to rest my feet upon.........

On Todays Menu.........

Fuck!! My feet are killing me. Athletes foot in overdrive.............The itch that never dies. I've got powder for them, but I can never seem to stick to a programme of application and so the foot grinding continues.

Want a sniff.............?

Myspace has given me food for thought over the past week or so. First of all I got 'Phished', which means, for those of you who don't know and don't care, my password got nicked and my account was 'piggybacked' for the purposes of nefarious ringtone hawkery. Honestly, if they were advertising scud or sex aids I wouldn't mind, but ringtones???

Then I get a threatening message from some dick called 'Joe'. It runs as follows.........

"yo mumma sucks urs cock
u suck so much balls that ur mom gets jealos
hey four eyes saw u in town the other day
I KNOW WHERE U LIVE!!!"

Awww! I think he likes me! What scares me most is that 'Joe', bless his soul, has set up a myspace account, seemingly for the sole purpose of sending people abusive messages. It did cross my mind that it might be my brother, but he's funnier than that. Besides, he knows I'll set fire to his baws if he tries that pish on...............(puffs chest out, tries to look hard..........)

I can laugh about it now, but at the time it was terrible...............

The house is on it's way! I move in on 14th of September. Huzzah! Went to meet the lawyer on Wednesday and whilst waiting on him, got to see how a telephone switchboard ought to be operated. One woman, a million incoming calls and not the slightest slip or trace of stress. I did a bit of phone cover in my last job and to be honest, it had me pissing adrenaline...........I thought I was hard pressed if two people called at once. Six at once seemed to be no problem to this dame. Funny thing was, it all came back to me like a Vietnam Vet having a flashback and I started getting a bit jumpy and nervous for no real reason. It was hardly as if she was going to ask me to mind the switchboard while she went for a cuppa....................I was glad when the lawyer stuck his head round the door and saved me from the freakish countryside mags and the eternally ringing phone..............

I was going to end this post in the style of an eighties American sitcom, with a glib moral or lesson that can be learned from my experiences in the past week, but frankly I'm at a loss.............Any suggestions? Best one gets entered :HERE:

Strange The Difference A Day Makes.........

So I strode out of the house tonight, The Iggy Pop mix of Raw Power lacerating my synapses through my cheap and nasty headphones and making me feel about twelve feet tall. You know, that "I'm Fucking Alive" feeling that you just don't get often enough in a lifetime.... It's funny, because I was on my way to Firhill to watch Partick Thistle, much against Doctors orders it has to be said. He said the Jags were "in for a pumping" as he took my blood pressure and advised I take up less stressful hobbies like lion taming or drug running.

Anyway, God only knows what the players had roaring through their heads pre-kickoff, but they arrived on the pitch as hyper, switched on and alert as I was and proceeded to play in a way I haven't seen this season. 2-0, going on five or six... Whatever it was, I hope the manager has a plentiful supply.

I've been a bit down for the past week it has to be said. Nothing big really, just niggly little things. Seeing my mother come back from a weekend break in Newcastle a day early due to yet another urine infection was a real fucker. I mean, is it too fucking much to ask that she gets away for a few days without coming down with this shit? That's two holidays out of three ruined by the same condition. Needless to say, she's absolutely armed to the teeth with anti-biotics for the next sojourn...... Wish her luck.

Talking of walking wounded, I'd also like to give a belated shout out to the Fat Sparrow, who's having a fucker of a time with illness too. Go and wish her well here. She hasn't updated since late Feb, so I'm hoping she's Ok and just laying low. Haste ye back missus.

Ok, that's it.

Go on, Beat it!