Sunday, July 27, 2008

Hot City Symphony (Sweating Like A Kraft Cheese Slice Left Out On A Formica Worktop Remix)

I hope you can forgive the 'hot and bothered' tone of this post, but that's just what I am right now. I can barely move without working up a sweat. It's cooled off as little now that night has fallen, but the haze that has enveloped Glasgow in the past few days seems to be sealing all the heat in. It feels like it anyway.................... I hear ice cream vans in some parts of England are being forced to curtail their 'jolly jingles' to blasts of no more than four seconds at a time. "What a travesty!" I hear the reactionary press holler, hastily reaching for their well thumbed book of heart warming 'This isn't our country anymore' clichés. They seem to be under the impression that these guys tootle about dispensing joy to all and sundry. Sorry folks, this isn't the 'Good Humor' man we're talking about here. Have you ever been served by one of the surly fuckers? Oh, and their jingles aren't 'quaint', they're a fucking earsore! Do I have to hear the fucking bastards at all? Can they not get something done about the coronary inducing volume they play their jingles at? See when some prick in a big yellow van parks outside my front door and lets rip? I'm not thinking of buying ice cream, cheap fags or pirated dvd's off him. No, I'm thinking of gouging out the fat cunts eyeballs with his ice-cream scoop and having them with my spaghetti hoops! Then theres the bins. Like Clairwil, I seem to have utter cunts for neighbours. The bin shelters in my back court are less than ideal, it has to be said. They're open, the bins are too small and have no lids, but how does that prevent anyone from performing simple tasks like putting refuse in the bins and closing the shelter gate behind them? It doesn't, but it seems many human beings are more than happy to inflict their filth on others. One last thing, I know in these days of watching the pennies and cutting ones cloth to fit, that sacrifices need to be made. It's an Aldi microwave curry instead of classy M&S ready meals, it's a packet of gristly looking 'Tesco Value' mince instead of a pound of the butchers finest.............What it doesn't mean is buying 'so thin they're transparent' bin liners. Bin liners are dirt fucking cheap anyway, even good quality ones. If you see a roll of 200 going for about 50p, take it as read that if they don't split half way to the bins, they'll get ripped to shreds by the local wildlife in seconds flat, thus decorating the back gardens, both communal and private, with your unattractive personal detritus. You thick cunt! Anyway, I bought a sunflower plant today, so I have no real right to be so grouchy.
A quick guide to seedbombing and a wee link to the Guerrilla Gardening site., then............ Songs Of The Summer No6: Teardrops Falling by The Versatiles (what a name!)

8 comments:

Planet Mondo said...

Now that is a sunflower - lovely tune too

iLL Man said...

Cheers Mondo. It's a wee beauty, isn't it?

Cocktails said...

Nice tune. Perfect for this warm weather - it's roasting here today and its not often you hear me say that.

Cocktails said...

Yes, and what is it about neighbours?! I said hello to people in the other flat yesterday and they looked at me like I was crazy. I really shouldn't bother being friendly, should just tell them to cut their bloody hedge!

iLL Man said...

To be honest, pretty much anything off the Trojan Rocksteady box set would have been good. Not played it in a while, but it's a bit of an old favourite. Yr right though, it's 'windows and doors open' weather just now. Don't really want it to end.....

As for neighbours...My current next door neighbours, when not slamming their front door all the time for a laugh, seem to be pretty taciturn. It is nice to have someone say hello, even if I'm not in the habit of doing it myself. I take a little bit of time to warm to people for some reason, they tend to have to do all the work..........

Cocktails said...

But aren't Glaswegians, like Australians, meant to be the 'friendliest people in the world' (as the cliche goes)?! I'm not (comparatively) too friendly myself, so maybe we are the exception that proves the rule...

Clairwil said...

Get that poor sunflower outdoors at once you cruel bastard. Learn to say hello to people you counldn't give a fuck about. More importantly tell me why it's so fucking hot I can't sleep.

iLL Man said...

Cocktails - You sound friendlier than me! Thing is, when you make a friend of me, I'm hard to shake off.......... =D

Clairwil - Yeah, it's outside now. As for saying hello.... I'll see what I can do.

We're due some rain and a drop in temperature in the next few days, which should see things freshen up a little. It doesn't even have the decency to be sunny today. Horrible stuff.