That's Me Set For The Summer!

The speedway season is back and I'm happy as a pig in shit......... Great fun today, watching everyone bumping and bouncing round the track, trying to find their footing and not get thrown off by the boggy bit at the inside of the track and the dirty great big ruts that always remain after a winter of disuse. The Tigers came good in the end and just edgedout Berwick Bandits with a 5-1 in the final heat.

Some News

A rough transaltion of the legend inscribed above in felt tip pen would possibly be 'Dear Sir/Madam, We would be most grateful if you could refrain from allowing your walking piss machine to micturate at will all over our little sign. We suggest you take Fido to the nearest lamp-post to perform his territorial duties, or better still, take him to the vet and have the fucker neutered. Thankyou.

Some time back, I wittered on about how the old Speedway at Ashfield was under threat and made a plea, more in hope than expectation, to any passing readers to maybe take up cudgels and write a wee note to those nice people at the Glasgow City Council Planning Dept.

Well, it would seem the planning permission for the proposed office block/housing development has been pretty much kyboshed, due in no small part to the letter writing campaign staged by Glasgow Tigers fans. If anyone put forward a response from my initial post, can I just pass on my eternal gratitude. This has bought the club the time they need to look at new options. Ashfield is probably not an ideal long-term venue, due to local housing which limits the amount of speedway that can be staged and prevents youngsters from getting much needed practice. The speedway however, will continue for now and that is what is most important. Now, all you need to do is get yer arses along of a Sunday Afternoon from March 9th onwards. Sure, it aint cheap, but for 12 quid or so, you get a great afternoon of entertainment, cheap booze, a friendly atmosphere and an overload of the senses you'll not find anywhere else. (No charge for the free ad Mr Dick ;D)

Anyway, tonights 'And Finally' story involves me going into ruddy Premark and buying the wrong size of trousers for about the third time in the space of a year. I think it's my sub-conscious. It doesn't want to accept the fact that I have a 38" waist. I even wrote my measurements down beforehand, yet I went in, picked up the trousers from the rail and headed for the check-out convinced I'd picked up the right size of breeks..........

Arse!

Janet Street Farter eat yr heart out!

A Moment Of Your Time Please

As some of you know, I have a bit of a love affair with Speedway. It's gonna be a long winter without it, but the news I learnt last week regarding the future of Ashfield Stadium, home of the Glasgow Tigers, has meant that the long-term viability of the sport in Glasgow could be under threat. Essentially the stadium is zoned as 'Greenspace', so any developer wanting to build on it must also provide an alternative venue for the displaced football team/speedway promotion. This is of course a pain in the arse for any would-be developer. It would seem though that the planning application being submitted will be to use the area currently occupied by the car park and the Ashfield Club. This spares the stadium itself, but as it's a combined office/residential proposal, the chances of Speedway continuing at Ashfield for any length of time would be distinctly remote. There are enough issues regarding noise as it is and this would simply make things worse. It would also make entry to the ground a logistical nightmare as the proposed construction area would obstruct entry to and from the ground. Essentially, the developer has found a way around the 'Greenspace' legislation and should the planning dept allow the construction to go ahead, it would essentially make the original designation of 'Greenspace' for Ashfield Stadium utterly pointless.

The good news is that we can object, preferably via individual e-mails sent to the DRS. For the letter format and a better idea of what seems to be going down, click HERE.

I realise this is a bit of a long shot, but if anyone reading this happens to find this all a little objectionable, or if you don't like to see any local attraction/ammenity/source of community cohesion & pride being marginalised or snuffed out, I would be most grateful if you could take ten minutes or so to send an email to the DRS, quoting the reference in the above link (take some time to read the link, it'll give you all the info you need) and stating why you feel that the application is unsuitable.

Ok, normal service will be resumed soon.

Cheers!

Look Into My Eyes

............No, better not come to think of it. Anyway, it's my new invention (Patent Pending.......) Ideal for those hideous conferences and 'roadshows' one is periodically asked to attend by the arseholes in charge of the company one works for.

Hello! It has come to my notice that there is a Paddington Bear movie in the pipeline. Hurrah! On the downside, it turns out it's live action. How the flying fuck will that work? A man in a bear suit? Tame bear cub on a leash? (No you twat! They'll use CGI!)

C'mon, it's either the Ivor Wood style 'stop motion' or nothing at all. Sacreligious cunts! Adding insult to injury, they've got everyones favourite Kodiak Peruvian eating Marmite sandwiches in a new advert. What the fuck is that about? Can I please have the waste of sperm and eggs that came up with that wheeze delivered to my door at some point this weekend so I can hoof him/her in the arse with my steel toe-capped winkle pickers. Paddington Fucking Bear does not eat vegetable extract butties! The bear I grew up with has impeccable tastes and eats marmalade sarnies and I'm sure would rather starve than sponsor what has to be the the most repulsive foodstuff in existance. You're fooling nobody you cunts! Fuck off and take your grot with you. You never know, it might come in handy if someone runs out of Polyfilla.

I hear the human mind is a wondrous thing, though I'm given to wonder otherwise at times. Apparently a good old fashioned smack upside the head is all you need to become something of a polyglot. It happened to Matej Kus, a Czech speedway rider. I was at the match and was witness to his accident. He lost control on the first bend and the guy behind him had no time to take avoiding action, so ended up running over the top of him. the resultant concussion saw Matej out for a fair while, and when he came round it was discovered that he was speaking perfect Queens English, as opposed to the few broken phrases he had demonstrated to the Berwick Bandits team manager beforehand. Now, one could argue that whatever English he had learned was locked away in his subconscious and the concussion 'un-locked it', allowing him to communicate in a language hitherto completely alien to him.

Failing that, he has pretty good English and he's decided not to let on for whatever reason, only to forget his deception when he came round from his knock. I think I'll be credulous in this one, if only because it's such a strange and wonderful story. Apparently he's forgotten his new language already and now needs an interpreter to communicate once more.

It seems the condition is known as 'Xenoglossy' and is extraordinarily rare. I'll let you make your own mind up.

The funniest thing is that my blog publishing page seems to be in German now. Needless to say, I'm a bit worried..........

Balls To The Wall

Tigers 47 Monarchs 43

Heat 1, Lap1, Turn 3.

Hello!

Another afternoon spent at the Church of Noise that is Ashfield Stadium, watching the Glasgow Tigers in action. Such a curious culture the old Speedway. Fiercly partisan of course, but it has that 'maw, paw and the weans' feel to it that football or many other close quarters spectator sports generally can't touch. It's also not uncommon for the opposing fans to applaud the efforts of each others riders, though when you consider the danger inherent in the sport, this is should be no surprise. A jammed throttle for Monarchs rider Andrew Tully during the warm-up saw the ambulance out for the only time today, but rib, chest, leg and arm/shoulder injuries are common and the balls needed to ride at any level in the sport seems to be deeply appreciated. Former riders returning with a new team and stuffing the home team are especially given due respect (though often slightly grudging). Try that at a football match and see how far you get without being lynched.

Shane Takes the applause after the final heat victory

Todays tie against the Edinburgh Monarchs was probably the closest I've seen since I started going, with the scores tied right up until the last heat. The Tigers top riders George Stancl and Shane Parker had been posting decent results all day, along with Trent Leverington but the middle and lower order had been disappointing. Both Stancl and Parker did the business in the final heat and did enough to put the Tigers into the Premier Trophy semi's.

Anyway, Shane Parker managed his second maximum points tally on the trot. The guy is a genius and I just wish the Tigers had a little more strength in depth.

Captain Fantastic Shane Parker interviewed after the tie.


Blog posts of the week -

The Great She Elephant and the German pensioner horror. Not being a great deal of fun in the morning myself, I can only sympathise.


The Flying Rodent and something about mice, political dogma and computer code. I actually recognise the computer code being referred to. The best I could manage with it as a kid was to make the screen fill up with messages for my brother like "Ruaridh Is A Cunt" and "(Bloggers name removed) is Fucking Ace" I've since grown up and realised that my brother isn't a cunt. He's an arse, and a rather loveable one at that. Bless!

We Will Return After These Messages.....

Another late post. Blogger threw a spaz on me, so I've had to content myself with spouting nonsense over on ptfc.net.

I've been soup making tonight. It was just an ad-hoc thing, based around Clairwil's idea of a "What's in the cupboard/fridge/leftover from last nights tea" soup. I was missing a few things, but then I did add a few odds and sods too. It looks a bit 'minestrone-ish'. Not sure if that's right, but it certainly tastes damn fine. I'm sure the iLL Mother (and she's been a bit iffy recently) will help herself to some of it tomorrow.

Two more things. I can heartily recommend as a day trip, taking the Carlisle train from Glasgow Central and alighting maybe at Dumfries. All you need is a cracking day. The Ayrshire leg is a bit of a curates egg, some of it's a wee bit grim, but the scenery is lovely. The section that follows the Nith to Dumfries is pretty much unspoilt. If yr feeling brave, you could always get off at New Cumnock or Auchinleck..................(No, seriously, DON'T!!)

The other thing I realised was the droning noise I've been hearing in the background on Sunday afternoons for the past eight years or so is the Glasgow Tigers speedway team at Ashfield Stadium. I had never bothered to go until Sunday there. To think I pay out good money after bad every fortnight at Firhill, when I could be having twice as much fun watching lunatics ride around a 350 meter shale oval on motorbikes with no brakes. Oh, and you can have a few beers while you watch. What's that all about? Are they mad? Are they European?


Gutten Nacht!