Friday, May 19, 2006

Random Things Fucking The Ill Man Off At This Moment In Time

The woman in Boots who wants to talk to you while you buy yer sarnies. NO!!! I give you money, you give me change and receipt, I go back to work. Right? Wrong. Instead I wait a fucking eternity in the queue as you move as slowly as fucking possible and yack away like a fucking budgie to blank faced office blobs. Today she was cleaning her touch screen till when I arrived. It was obviously not in locked mode as her dusting had fucked it up completely. Just what I needed you silly old sod. HMV have started to employ people to walk the floor of the shop and pester customers, asking if they 'need any assistance'. If I want your assistance I shall ask for it. GO AWAY!!! Is it just me, but does this not remind you of the days as a child when you would stand at the comic rack in RS McColl or WH Smith for about half an hour reading Shoot and Roy Of The Rovers only for some old crone to utter those very same words? I know it's not their aim, but it makes me feel like i'm under surveillance, under suspicion. If any HMV employee is reading this can they please have a word with someone and get them to fucking stop it. Or else i'm off to Virgin and Fopp for my music. Capeesh??? ...........and no, that wan't a Peter Andre poster I had up my trouser leg as I left.................... Talking of WH Smith, has anyone seen their latest stunt? Maybe it's unique to the branch in Glasgow city centre, but every time you get to the till, you get some oversized fucking chocolate bar or worthless non seller book or DVD punted at you. Yes, that's right, you've come in for a copy of Peoples Friend or Anglers Monthly or Motorsport or Hot Hatch Bitches, you've had ample time to visit the chocolate bar stand and make any possible confectionary decisions as well as take into consideration the multitude of overpriced movies and tatty biographies they have on sale. It's obviously not enough to come into the shop and just purchase a magazine or a paper. They obviously believe that miraculously, by the time you reach the check out you will suddenly have been seized by an insane craving for their 'Three For Two' offer on the 'Super Fucking Giant, Size Of Your Arm' Toblerones that they so bloody obviously cannot shift by conventional means. This is the contempt the people who run these shops hold you in. It also demostrates their contempt for their employees as they seem more than happy to turn them from till assistants into cheap arse hawkers who can't hide their apologetic demeanour every time they half heartedly try and do a bit of 'selling on'. Next!!!

3 comments:

Rob7534 said...

Fucking A!

Billy said...

I know an HMV employee. I shall find out what's going on.

ill man said...

Shit! Forgot about these comments..........

Billy, it would be interesting to find out what the deal is. Why they feel this approach is necessary. It's handy to have someone about for customers to ask where the Bon Jovi cd's are, odf course but the 'angel of death' over-the-shoulder aproach is most unpleasant.

Rob, every so often I go 'off on one'. Usually about things that don't really matter all that much......................That's me for another few months I think.