'Roadshow'

When I were a lad, a 'Roadshow' was a live broadcast on Radio 1, usually from some scrutty seaside town in the pissing rain, hosted by the likes of Bruno Brookes and Liz Kershaw, featuring top tunes from the Hit Parade and Dave Lee Travis scaring children with his facial hair. Or something. To top it all off, you'd have an array of the days biggest pop stars (and Pete Burns) lip synching along to their latest hits. Peerlessly naff, and as popular as a public hanging. The product of a more innocent age.

Now it would seem that the term 'Roadshow' has been appropriated for altogether darker purposes. Basically a 'Roadshow' in business terms is a couple of middle management types with a big screen, a laptop, a microphone and a Powerpoint Presentation, trying gamely to generate some excitement amongst their employees about the company's new 'three year plan' and their projected profits. The half hearted gags, the the half arsed 'Pre-Roadshow' music, the utterly meaningless glossy pamphlets, the hour of my life I'd have sooner spent drilling holes in my head.................

Anyway, some suggestions for improving the 'Roadshow' product;

Dry ice.

Strippers (male & female if you want)

Free bar

Babyshambles live performance

I think it's a winner.

That wasn't the best of it. Apparently the company have a commitment to the environment. I was instructed to go to and from the venue for the 'Roadshow' via a specially chartered bus, even though said venue is actually only five minutes walk from my office. I was quite happy to oblige as it meant I returned to the office a good half hour later than I would have if I'd just walked.

Nice to see my Carbon Footprint is as big as ever