Thursday, September 07, 2006

It's An Ill Wind...........

I had planned on having part two of 'The Dentist' up tonight. Only, I left my notebook at work and simply couldn't be arsed trying to remember how it went. Anyway, it means I can hone it tomorrow at work while our server is on the blink (oh, it will be, mark my words...) Some weeks back, Clairwil had brought up the subject of men farting in bed and sticking their wives/girlfriends heads under the duvet to, as it were, 'sample the aroma'. Curious as always, I asked two chaps at work that I know are in relationships about the phenomenon. To my utter astonishment they chuckled and admitted that yes, they had done it on a fair few occassions. Is it just me? Is that just NOT the sort of thing you would subject anyone to? Never mind your girlfriend? That said, it must say something about a relationship if it's reached that stage. Possibly the following............... 1- You are a boorish and sadistic twat and your partner either enjoys it or hasn't the confidence to punch you in the nuts every time you do it. 2- You believe that the more you act like a nine year old, the more she'll love you. Depressingly, this may sometimes be true. 3- Your relationship has lost all of it's purpose and you really ought to see about finding someone else to fuck. It's entirely possible that I am misinterpreting a harmless act of jocularity here and a lot of women think nothing of it. If so, I stand corrected. Still, mustn't encourage the bastards.................

8 comments:

Billy said...

Reminds me of a letter in Viz I once read. Went something like:

"Now I've been with my girlfriend sometime she no longer minds when I fart in bed. It's only when I 'follow through' that the petty arguments start. I can honestly say I will never understand women."

Jules said...

"Some weeks back, Clairwil had brought up the subject of men farting in bed and sticking their wives/girlfriends heads under the duvet to, as it were, 'sample the aroma'."

Eww... :D

My ex and I used to have farting competitions in bed. But then we were more like best mates than boyfriend/girlfriend. I twigged not long after that... :P

jools said...

I've never had to endure this 'adorable' male feature, mainly cause they know they'd get a swift kick in the knackers if they ever thought of it - maybe this is why I'm single, if so roll on debilitating mental illness with cats is all I can say

Clairwil said...

I should point out I have never been subjected to this horror. I take pride in not being the sort of woman one farts in front of.

heather said...

I believe this peculiar practice had a name: A Dutch Oven.

Urgh.

No man would ever dare try doing that to me. I'd kill him.

Clairwil said...

Dear God,
It get's worse. A name! These people should be on the sex offenders register. We should all be told if one is living near us. Where is Mags Haney when you need her?

ill man said...

"Where is Mags Haney when you need her?"

Probably having her head stuffed under a duvet to sample the stale bottom odours of the 'special man' in her life.

Even drug dealing psycho grannies from hell deserve better.

Rob7534 said...

HA!