Thursday, May 17, 2007

A Pox On Both Your Houses


As anyone who knows me might attest, I couldn't give two figs for the fortunes of any other football team but Partick Thistle. Or maybe Maryhill......

Anyway, the talk of the shithole was todays UEFA Cup Final being held at Hampden Park tonight between Espanol and Seville. I blanked all the banal crap quite successfully I think, all the regurgitated newspaper bilge about what side of the Old Firm (Rangers, Celtic) would support what team(Espanol or Seville) in the final............ Jesus! Can these facile morons not give it up for five minutes? Does everything have to revolve around them? I'm quite sure that if tomorrow morning, a flying saucer from the Andromeda Galaxy were to land on Glasgow Green proclaiming a new dawn of world peace and human mental evolution, the first question posed to the inhabitants of said craft would be...........

"So pal, whit team dae ye support? the gers or sellic?"

At which point they'd take off again and nuke the place from fucking orbit........

Anyway, everyone knows Andromedans are Third Lanark fans and aren't to be trifled with.

Ok, to return to the original point of the post......Tonights Uefa Cup Final was another Hampden Thriller. 2-2 after extra time, some very flowing and enjoyable football, loads of drama and just maybe, the better team winning on penalty kicks (Seville) Hampden looked the part too. Also nice to see the cup awarded in the main stand like it bloody should be, instead of the crappy 'podium-on-the-pitch' approach that seems to have been adopted of late. What can I say? I'm a traditionalist.....

Anyway, after all that nonsense...............

Some of you may have noticed comments on this blog and Seven Days by a certain anonymous commenter signing off as 'Diane'. Diane is a wonderful woman who stopped me in the street one night with an imaginary microphone, and made me laugh like a loon. We've since become very close, so I'd like y'all to make her feel welcome here when she does post...... Cheers!

Bye!

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

YOU are a such sweetheart!
Diane x

Billy said...

"Diane is a wonderful woman who stopped me in the street one night with an imaginary microphone"

I would like to hear the full story behind this event.

David Duff said...

Or perhaps she said, in the requisite husky voice, "Is that a microphone in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?"

Ladybristol said...

You mean she didn't turn, on spotting you, and run as fast as she could in the opposite direction? Brave woman

iLL Man said...

Diane - Cheers missus! ;)

Billy - We were both drunk. neither of us remembers particularly why our paths crossed. I think the interview topic was something to do with the smokers canopy outside a nearby pub.

David - Are you sure yr on the right blog? I bet you still use that one.

The microphone down the trousers I mean..... :)

Ladybristol - Cheers! It's nice to know I can always rely on my blog readers to insult me with impunity....... ;)

Wouldn't have it any other way, but only as long as the target is me and nobody else.

matt lobster said...

Do imaginary microphones actually work?

iLL Man said...

Better than you might think Matt.

Gorilla Bananas said...

I played football once. Everyone said I was the most brilliant goalkeeper they'd ever seen, but I gave up the sport because of its swearing and vulgarity. Diane sounds about a thousand times more interesting than Partick Thistle.

Anonymous said...

"Do imaginary microphones work?"

-I pulled didnt I!?

It wasnt my intention to pull, but its worked out that way & Im not complainin!

Ladybristol- u dont know what yr missin

Diane x

ZinZin said...

Does he have a big microphone Diane?
Nudge,nudge, wink, wink.

iLL Man said...

GB - Footballs loss is our gain.

Zinzin- !!!

(sighs, shrugs shoulders and shakes head ................)

ZinZin said...

Sorry Ill man I couldn't help myself.

iLL Man said...

That's quite alright Zinzin.

alan said...

be gentle with him diane.

Ladybristol said...

Di - where do you buy imaginary microphones, I think I need one :)