Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Quick Everyone, Pretend We're Not At Home.........

It's the night every urban attention seeker looks forward to all year. That chance, so rudely denied in everyday life and seized this once with feverish enthusiasm, to dress up (and act like) a twat.

This evening I'm round at my folks house to hide from the local wildlife and their take on 'trick or treat'. Not sure what they get up to in Woodside, but I'm not really into finding out.

Do kids still go guising? Maybe they don't bother. Maybe it's the same routine of getting up to no good as any other night, but with a cheap plastic horror mask on as a concession to Halloween. Or are they busy playing with fireworks? Sounds far more fun than trying to threaten pennies out of students and OAP's.

I won't bang on about the evils of 'Trick or Treat', if only because it seems so Pavlovian and predictable to do so. Needless to say, a fair amount of kids are escorted around neighbourhoods by adults and shout the term without any intent, satisfied with a few pennies and a handful of Mini Heroes. It's when they're five foot five with bumfluff 'taches and broken voices that you need to be mindful.

For my own part, I recall Halloween with a mixture of fondness and embarrassment. The dressing up bit was always something to look forward to, but having to remember jokes that weren't too rude to tell the old dear upstairs was something of a chore. Costumes? The year I went in drag sticks in my mind for obvious reasons. I could only have been about nine or ten...............I doubt there are any parents who would allow such a thing now. Such parental 'misguidance' in this day and age would be deeply frowned upon, no doubt leading to them being put on the sex offenders register or some such nonsense.

It's funny really, that's the kind of leap of logic you would make when faced with having nothing to wear. Every other kid in the street had something worked up, but coming home from school in a town ten miles away meant that sometimes I had nothing planned out and if you were in any way intending on boosting that weekends pocket money, then you damn well better find something to wear.

Sure as hell beats going as a Blues Brother or Franken Furter or Elvis or sticking on an afro wig and pretending to be from an obscure tv sitcom.

Tonight I'm going out as Phil Collins, circa 'Face Value'/'Something In The Air Tonight'

Now, where are my portable sine drums..............


lism. said...

I don't know a soul who isn't pretending they're not at home tonight.

Right shower of miserable bastards we are.

Anonymous said...

Would that photo have been taken in McPhabbs by any chance ? Looks familiar.

iLL Man said...

Lism - Indeed. I don't entertain fools gladly. At least not the sort who dress up as Superman or schoolgirls. I know I really should be less uptight, but then I'd lose all my unique charm..........

LKSN - Close. It was taken in a pub in Gretna. =D