Saturday, July 15, 2006

The Chicken from Tølløse

Football? Fuck football. What a pile of wank. Give me 150 finely honed athletes putting themselves through absolute torture every day for three weeks on The Tour De France for my viewing pleasure...............Yes, I know they're all doping/on drugs. Wouldn't you be too? Team coach- "Right lads, you've got 200 km to ride today, 50km of which is up the side of some fucking mountains. By the time you get to the end of the stage, even the gentlest of rises is going to feel like the north face of the Eiger. I hope you're all suitably "enhanced" cos i'm not stopping the team car to pick up stragglers......" Ok, maybe i'm guilty of cynically playing to the popular belief that "They're all at it". Maybe they are clean. Maybe I don't really care. Even if they are walking science experiments............... The rider in the picture is Michael Rasmussen, a Danish chap who won the 'King Of The Mountains' classification last year. They don't get any harder than this guy. He's a tiny bloke and from the waist up looks rather emaciated. He wears the absolute minimum (not even one of those yellow 'Livestrong' bands) and has been known to ditch the drinks bottle to shed a few ounces from the weight of the bike. Anyway, he's rubbish at everything except climbing hills, which makes him better than a sprinter(lazy) or a time trialist(boring) any day. Might just see him in fetching red polka dots again by the time the field reaches Paris, but he's well back this year and seems to be helping out his better placed team mates...... That's the price you pay when I make you a favourite son.......................

8 comments:

Pam said...

J'adore Le Tour !

ill man said...

Oui, j'adore 'Le Tour' aussi. C'est le plus grand événement sportif dans le monde.

GreatSheElephant said...

Fuck football?

Are you actually *from* Glasgow then?

ill man said...

Oh yes! For the record, I love football. Specifically the retarded form of the game my team Partick Thistle happen to play................

I was rather wrapped up in Le Tour at that point and i'd been somewhat disappointed with the World Cup, hence my opening lines.....

GreatSheElephant said...

Oh. Snif. And there was me thinking it was safe to move back again. Presumably some Scottish men don't like football?

Mind you, I'd take Partick over the old firm anytime.

ill man said...

Nah, it's not all that bad. Just steer clear of the subway when Rangers are playing at home, or Argyll street when it's Celtic.

Thistle are a friendlier proposition. the right crowd and no crowding..............

GreatSheElephant said...

heh, you haven't been married to a Rangers supporter with a bad sulking problem

ill man said...

Haven't I? Oh, sorry, I haven't. Just fanatasising about being married.............

I'm curious to find out what it's like. Maybe I could do a Britney and have it anulled after a week if it doesn't come up to my expectations. If possible I would avoid getting married to a Rangers fan, though I find most women tend to take a pragmatic and intelligent view of football. It's all a load of old pish but sometimes it can be a great excuse for a knees up. I wish people wouldn't take it so bloody seriously sometimes.