Friday, April 20, 2007

Some Children Will Do Anything For The Love Of Their Mother.........


So, this toddler fighting lark. Popular is it?

Bloody shit thick amateurs, didn't even have the guile to try making some money off it...........

I have to say, my jaw dropped when I heard this one. It actually sounds not unlike something out of Blue Jam or Brass Eye. As with many cruel and stupid people, the women in question didn't seem to believe that their actions were in any way objectionable and decided that nobody would mind if they left evidence of their little hobby lying about for just anyone to find.
File Under: Am I Really Reading This?

Ok, I've only gone and forgotten my bank PIN number..

"How the fuck did you manage that iLL Man!!!" I hear you all shout.

Well, I've been entering the number for about six months without any real problem, yet yesterday I'm in the Co-Op and standing at the machine, sprawling over cardboard boxes and other gubbins left over from the latest re-fit (an absolute disaster in my mind, the place seems even smaller than it was) and trying to get what little cash I have out of the machine. It was one of those moments where you can't remember quite what order the digits go in. Twice I entered what I thought was my code, only to be told that I had typed in the wrong number. I believe these machines swallow your card after the third unsuccessful attempt, so I got the hell out of there before something drastic happened. I still can't decide what the right combo is and I now only have one attempt at it left. I'm just going to get the PIN changed and draw out cash from a branch in the interim.......

I think this is only the start of some kind of premature dementia. I'm genuinely freaked out by this and haven't been quite right since...............
File Under: Why Doesn't My Brain Work Properly?

Thank God for cousin Al and his Circle Of Tyrants. Thrash Metal isn't really my bag, but the gig at the Soundhaus was a good laugh. COT actually took me by surprise, heavier than an axe in the forehead and plenty good banter between songs. Oh, and stagediving too. The last time I saw that, the bouncers at The Garage were trying to make their minds up if they really wanted to go in after the naked singer from The Jesus Lizard.
I don't get out much folks......

I was then accosted on the way home by three rather lovely and amusing dames who decided that it might be a good idea if I joined them on their quest for more booz, despite the fact that I only had about a tenner to my name. I decided that the night was indeed young and it would be a pleasure to join them. Anyway, turns out Tawnya and Jodi are Canadians travelling across Europe and Diane is putting them up for a few days. Ended up in the ABC for a few and then over the road for some Pakora.

Cheers for the fags, beer and laughs ladies.
File Under: You Know, Things Could Be So Much Fucking Worse.......

YouTube!!




Also, bow down to the genius that is Bum Hand

8 comments:

west coaster said...

How you doing I.M. I think the news item about the mindless slags forcing two toddlers to beat the shit out of each other was perhaps the one that upset me most this week. More so than another, albeit record-breaking, massacre at an American campus. But now it has been eclipsed. I have just heard that Arabic television channels have been airing footage of a Taliban execution where a boy of about twelve years old is seen beheading to poor victim. Suffer the little children.

SzélsőFa said...

The Bum Hand made me smile and feel like vomiting. Thanks for the experience. Sometimes these little pleasures of life makes one alive.

iLL Man said...

Not bad W.C.

eh, maybe I shouldn't call you that.....Anyway, yes, I'm fine. I haven't been over to your place in a while, though I now have bloglines which should ensure that I don't miss too much. I'm in the process of sticking all of my blogroll on it, so you should see me in the odd time.

As for the horrors of the world......All of these incidents are depressing in their own obvious and very different ways. The toddler thing is just weird. I'm just waiting on someone to argue that these women were actually doing right by their children, preparing them for life etc......

I'm all for kids being less molly-coddled, but that's just insane...

Szelso Fa - I had much the same reaction. It's the noises the 'Bum' makes as he wanders about, the cheers in the background. It looks like something off an alternate universe Sesame Street.

ZinZin said...

Ill man
What wrong with you? Three ladies accost you take you around town and you did not make the beast with two backs with any of them?!!!!!

Your membership of the man club is under review.

Billy said...

I was so pleased I got to exercise my inner snob when I noticed who common they looked. ;)

iLL Man said...

Zinzin- Yeah, must have left my mojo at homethat night, eh?

Billy - To be honest, I usually associate such sadism with the upper-middle classes and the public school system.............

Elaine said...

Haha...I like your blog rules...I am the one who always comes late to my friend alan's blog and leaves witty comments...that nobody reads probably.

So, cheers, then..

iLL Man said...

Hi Elaine. Sorry I'm late. this one comes under 'Too busy to keep an eye on my blog' ;D

I don't mind a late comment, I get emails notifying me anyway. If you're taking the blog as a whole and something worth reading (I don't know...Is it?) then I suppose leaving comments on old posts is understandable. I'll only get bitter though, start asking where you've been and why you couldn't have commeneted on that post back when I was struggling to get ten people a day......

Just kidding. Lovely to have you over. Say Hi to Alan if you see him. I assume it's Mr Edwards we're talking about here....

Cheers!