Thursday, April 26, 2007

Death Of A Salesman


And lo, The beast lay slain at the foot of the garden, at least until the morn, and the iLL Man laid down his trusty administrative sword and put his feet up and had a beer or four..............

Fucking spamming cankersores. I wish them nothing but gut churning agony, the likes of which no amount of morphine can ever tame. This is the price I pay for not having the tiresome, not to mention frustrating word verification feature on my site. It's for you dear reader that I have dispensed with such security measures, for your ease of access and expression. My punishment for such an open and liberal approach to blogging is that I am open to the receipt of such advertising gems as.............

"Great Blog, I Love it! Keep it up!!!!!...........Hitlers Brain In Formaldehyde Only $100!! Crap That Wouldn't Shift At A Car-Boot Sale!, Cheap Child Labour Here!!!, Sundry Electrical Goods!! If It's Broken You're Fucked HaHa!!!, Fake Porno Sites To At Least make You Look!! Go On Make My Day You Rubes!!!............."

I truly despair. Tell you what chaps, you keep posting yer crap, I'll keep deleting it and maybe one day I'll meet you in hell and we can all have a nice chat over a latte and some biscotti* about the whole thing. Wouldn't that be sooper?

*For Hell is surely a branch of Costa Coffee is it not?


Tomorrow - Special guest and 'Feegie Cooncillor' Terry Kelly dons his consumer advice hat and test drives the latest alcoholic refreshments on the market in the first of what I hope will be many weekly bevvy reviews that ought to put beer buff Michael Jackson to shame.

It's not like he'll be up to much in a months time anyway.............

7 comments:

fido said...

Its best to put comment moderation on, spam is an endless and bloody annoying business.

Sure it slows peoples comments down a tad but thats the price ya pay.

Me I think they should just shoot spammers, not even a last smoke before they go.

iLL Man said...

Nah. Deleting spam on posts I made a year ago is a pain in the bum, but comment mod and all that stuff is just as big an annoyance. I'll live with the hawkers, they tend to appear and disappear over periods of time.

I'm just having a moan, grist to the mill and all that.....

Clairwil said...

Fuck if only spam was the worst of it. I've now got a BNP candidate fouling up the atmosphere on my blog. What the fuck are those cretins for? To stop Labour being the biggest bunch of wankers on the ballot paper?

ZinZin said...

Dont forget your list of soups its very nearly that time of the month at my blog.

Burkina Faso email scams are in vogue at the moment. I have also offended the FC United of Manchester supporters club not quite the BNP but one day....

iLL Man said...

Clairwil - So I see. I think I may have responded to him..........

Oh well.... Not sure what the BNP are for, other than to tap into peoples fears and frustrations with simple answers to generally fairly complex problems. I wouldn't even trust any of them to run a 'Nation States' country for more than a week.

Zinzin - Soup has taken a bit of a back seat at the moment. I do have some broth mix and some chickpeas though, so watch this space.

How did you manage to offend FCUM? Are they all a bunch of arseholes? A lot of footy fans are I'm afraid....

ZinZin said...

I called FCUM attention seekers FC. I gave my reasons for calling them that at my blog.

Clare said...

You could install Haloscan comments instead. Just go to www.haloscan.com.

There are a few drawbacks, but there seems to be no spam, and it's a HELL of a lot easier people to make comments.