Saturday, September 29, 2007
"Haw! This Yin's Takin A Photie Of His Pie!!"
Still, it's not his fault, they just got colour tv in Kirkintilloch a month ago, digital cameras are bound to be a bit confusing...................*
The iLL Man is available to be lynched by people from small towns on most weekday nights, except Fridays. Thankyou.
*Just kidding. It was the internet they got last month. They've had colour tv since March.....
Friday, September 28, 2007
No!! Not Me House!!!
Not the most pleasing sight to meet my eyes as I walked back from the shops the other day. Fire engines. A ruddy squad of them, and more concerning to this new home-owner, a dirty big plume of smoke rising into the air. My first thought was "Fuck! What have I left on?".
Nothing as it turns out. There's a row of old council flats behind the house which have been boarded up for quite some time, waiting on the last tenant to move out (obviously hanging on for something a bit more salubrious) They're empty now, but it seems to have been a green light for some local cheeky chappies to find a way in and torch the place. Ah yes, the local wildlife........
Had no problems as such yet, though someone did decide to give the piece of board covering the broken pane on the entry door a good booting last night. Obviously took offence to someone covering up their previous handiwork.
Here I am making out I live in Beirut or something.....
I've got one of these things up now. Cheers to Clairwil for bringing it to my attention. Not quite sure what it's for (I'm not the only one), but I'm sure it'll come in handy.
The Sensational Alex Harvey Band had many mad moods. Too many actually. I think in the world of seventies rock they were seen as a great live band, but ultimately, neither fish nor fowl in a musical sense. Which is a shame, because they made some jaw dropping recordings, if maybe not all on the same album...........Anyway, these clips should give you an idea of how they could go from deranged prog rock to Vaudville to cheesy pop to grinding blues rock and back again. They also had a theatricality that maybe only Marilyn Manson has topped and the rabid looking Harvey whose style was a definite influence on a young John Lydon. Harvey died in 1982 and the remnants of the band were sent to serve their time in 80's stadium rock supergroups before returning to reform the band. I've not bothered to bend an ear. I hear they're not bad at all, but without Alex, it's just another band.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
I've Got God In My Earpiece And He Sounds Like Private Fraser
Just back from the football and I've suddenly remembered one of the reasons I'd stopped going. It was like having Statler and Waldorf from the Muppets behind me. Grizzling, moany faced old cunts.............
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
The Horror! The Horror!
Get Gwen Stefani's Stunning Celebrity Look - "So Much More Than A Popstar" (gag!)
Watch a brilliant performance from James Blunt in concert. - Dinner loss guaranteed
Wendy reports to the headmaster - The art of grovelling taken to new heights.
Dutch Moped Fetishist - I actually quite like this guy. The bit where Anarchy In The UK comes on is priceless........
I shall be back on Thursday with something proper to read.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
I May Be Some Time...........
Ah Fuck!
{Greek Chorus} Why Break The Habits Of A Lifetime?
Anyway, I move into the flat tomorrow. It's felt like a fucking eternity right enough, but the transition from not having a clue what's going on, to 'Ok, you can move in' has taken me by surprise and I spent most of the early evening packing the crap in my room into bags and boxes for removal. Then there's a couch to be uplifted from a top floor flat. Busy old day ahead....
I'm also off work for the next week or so, which prevents me from throttling the life out of one of my colleagues. Is this a good or bad thing? Apart from being an unctious, nasal, supercillious wee prick, this guy is also the sort of arsehole who thinks nobody can see him when he's ramming filing back in at random. The job is indeed shit, but for fucks sake, do it properly, even if it's just to make everyone elses life that little bit easier. Yeah, I know, get the fuck out..............
Soon my dears, soon...........
Youchoob
Thursday, September 20, 2007
'Roadshow'
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Here Is The News
I see someone is Suing God. One for the small claims courts, surely................
Of course, further reading tells us that it's just some Senator in Nebraska being a smart arse.
Now this guy, he's really got a case. Free will doesn't exist you see. I can see how he feels cheated...............
I love Hugo Chavez. Not for his Socialist beliefs, I can take or leave those. Not for his hilarious 'book of the month' recommendations, Chomsky gives me indigestion. No, I love him cos he's just decided to turn the clocks back in Venezuela by half an hour.
Ace! It would seem that the reasoning behind the move is to allow children to wake up for school in daylight. A fine notion, except I'm sure the practicalities of the situation are far less important to old Shug than the kudos gained from Venezuela having it's very own timezone.
Reports that Cuba is looking at the possibility of re-locating to the 5th Dimension are as yet unconfirmed.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Look Into My Eyes
The funniest thing is that my blog publishing page seems to be in German now. Needless to say, I'm a bit worried..........
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Hooray For Auntie
It's only in the past few months, as my job becomes ever more tedious and worthless that I have come to truly appreciate the BBC website for the goldmine of info it truly is. At my place of employment, it's the only thing we're allowed to look at on the net during working hours. I have to say, I understand their rationale. I mean, it's 'just the BBC!', who would give that any more than five minutes..........?
Yeah, more than half the department it seems.............Maybe it says more about the lack of intellectual stimulus provided by the job, but I'm not so sure. For instance, without the BBC Online, I'd know nothing about a certain region of Russia promoting a 'Sex Day' in an attempt to boost the falling population. Nor would I know that female joggers risk 'boob sag' if they don't use a decent sports bra. Oh, and it seems that the skins of tangerines contain a compound that kills cancer cells. It seems you should be eating the stuff, not throwing it away.............
Not the most important or eye opening tidings one will ever read, but obscure nonsense will always be welcome in my world.
Recently it was discovered that someone in IT had forgotten to put the work-time restrictions back after lunch and while it did allow me time to fanny about on Wikipedia for a while, I just ended up back at 'Auntie Beeb' devouring their science section and checking out the previous nights speedway results amongst other things. Theres a strange allure to it. The feeling that theres still something of deep interest to be read somewhere. Anything to kill the time I suppose. They also store archive stuff going back to the dawn of time (1998)
I'm sure there are more than enough out there who believe I'm just poisoning my mind with the brain raping evil that is BBC mis-information, foolishly believing it to be educational or useful. As opposed to the eternal spring of truth Murdoch churns out of course............
Yeah, well, long may their apoplexy continue. I rather like the BBC and I love that they're loathed by people whose sensibilities are so obviously fragile that they interpret every action of the company as being hostile/Socialist/Stalinist/whatever..........
I'm never happier than when I lose myself in something, and frankly, BBC online allows me to do just that....................
Oedipous Is Alive And Well And Living In A Loft Conversion In Manhattan
A big thankyou to Observer Woman Makes Me Spit for providing this very amusing article in The Guardian. Frankly, I'm not that surprised such wretched entities exist. Nor am I surprised that women sent to interview them don't understand the underlying reason for their general cuntishness. I shall return to that one.
Basically what we're talking about here is the minor phenomenon of educated, middle class and very high profile male bloggers whose attitude towards women is a weird combination of loathing, contempt and insecurity(please, read the article, it's worth it). They're looking for love basically, but every woman that crosses their path fails utterly to be anything other than another troublesome chore, a target for their brooding, internal rage, or at best a mild distraction to be discarded when they get bored. So far, so predictable. The biggest problem is that they then go and write candid online memoirs about their disappointments and bizarre behaviour disorders. Un-burdened by a need to self censor, they bask in their own their own alpha male smugness, yet wonder why they aren't hitched to the only woman who can satisfy them. I don't doubt they love women, but they hate that the 'perfect woman' doesn't exist and probably never did. The resulting disgust and self loathing is manifested in their relationships and then set out for a small but influencial audience to chatter over it, giving it a kind of soap opera status.
I've always wondered if I should go 'confessional'. It might not be a great idea though. Can you imagine a blog in which I let you know my deepest, darkest secrets? Told you things you didn't really need to know? Ok, so I might get a few more hits (Ha!), but quite frankly, I'd get about three blog posts out of it before I ran out of material. Also, I don't get much 'action', so it would be a toss up between talking about self abuse or my porn collection. Neither are subjects I feel able to write entertainingly about. Athletes foot on the other hand.............
Anyway. In answer to my original point. Why do these 'neo-mysoginists' seemingly have such loathing for most women, yet cling like desperate puppies to the notion of love and marriage?
Simple really. They all want to marry their mother.
This sample of bullshit pop psychology was brought to you by the letters A R S & E and the No 5. The iLL Man is a product of the Mentally Subnormal Bloggers Workshop............
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Thieving Fuckers!
For Lism. The Hold Steady say Howdy!