Monday, November 06, 2006

Fireworks On Glasgow Green

The last time I was at Glasgow Green to see the November 5th display I must have been about seven or eight. The fireworks were fine as far as I can remember but my feet damn well near froze solid in a pair of unforgiving school shoes and what I imagine were a rather thin pair of socks. Usually my dad would buy a box of cheap fireworks and we'd fire them off in the back green. The rockets would usually clear the tenement and explode out of sight, the Catherine Wheels would be a pain in the arse to set off, at least a third of the box would be duds and my brother and I would make the most of our sparklers, the only real joy to be had in the whole anti-climactic affair. Believe me, an organised display kicks the bollocks off backyard efforts. They're also cheaper. Except one year when friends of my folks brought round their own fireworks. Mums got busy making a buffet, dads arsed about with the fireworks. Felt almost like a proper display in a way, except instead of serious ballistic experts in charge, we had three middle aged blokes pretty much contravening every article of the firework code and generally showing off.

Anyway, the novelty wore off by the time I was about ten, for my folks mainly, but my brother and I weren't really fussed. We left the fireworks to the professionals and the mongs who liked to chuck cheap bangers at each other in the street. Anyway, after my tirade the other day I perversely decided to go to the display on Glasgow Green. It was pretty good to be honest, though I feel they didn't fire off enough in the way of the 'Krakatoa East Of Java' type fireworks. Too many of them were pretty and brightly coloured but lacked that 'Shock & Awe' feel that you really want when you go to a display. The other beef I had was that Radio Clyde (renamed Celtic FM at the weekend) was blaring away through the build up. Fine, I can just about handle that, what really annoyed was the fact that I had Primal Scream and Franz Ferdinand blaring out of 25 ft high speaker stacks through the fireworks. Kind of takes the edge off the experience if you ask me.......

10 comments:

lism. said...

But did you manage to spend the entire evening without standing in the corner, your arms folded and a scowl permeating your visage a la Victor Meldrew?

matt lobster said...

I'm not sure what fireworks really are.

ill man said...

Lism, don't be daft. Of course I didn't. What do you take me for?

Matt, not sure I follow you. Which is as it should be....

Anonymous said...

You're a pretty damn good photographer.

ill man said...

Cheers Kav! I do me best with what i've got..........

(Ahem!) ;D

Fat Sparrow said...

"but my feet damn well near froze solid"

See, that's why we planned our Revolution for July. Even in California, it's a bitch barbecuing in November.

FlyingRodent said...

There are worse ways to spend an evening than going to a fireworks display.

Sticking fireworks up your backside would be a good example.

Ill Man, are you staying at this address or moving to your beta page?

I'd hate to think that the ten people a day who visit my site wouldn't have the chance to make your acquaintance!

ill man said...

FR, i'm staying here for the moment. I hope to merge the two blogs eventually, but this here blog will still be the main place to get your fix of Ill Man goodness. The beta site will be updated sporadically, mainly with pictures and my "of no interest to anyone in particular except myself" posts. Certainly until I start getting more hits.

Cheers!

Oh, and the singed colon story...........The guy is obviously the Evel Kneivel of arse/firework stunts. It's not just the arse damage that gets me, it's the possibility of setting yr pubes on fire or scalding yr nads that makes me wince.

FlyingRodent said...

Scalding your nads? He's lucky he didn't blow them off.

That would've been justice, I suppose, at least from an evolutionary standpoint.

ill man said...

What must A&E staff think when a fuckwit like that lands on their doorstep? I'm sure they've seen worse but I hope the nurses attending to him take every chance to humilite the daft baboon.