Sunday, November 05, 2006

Oh Dear!

If I hear another firework go off I will go mental. It's been quiet for a while now, but all i've heard all evening is the sound of cheap fireworks cracking off all around chez ill man. They sound like they're being set off about six feet away. Ok, it's probably more like six streets away which means I cant call the police on them or threaten them with a big stick................. Look, if I had my way, possession of fireworks without some sort of license would be punnishable by death. I don't bloody care if it's "a little display for the kiddies" or if it's the local gang of retards trying to maim each other with bangers, they would all feel my wrath for their inconsiderate behviour. Having never got my way on any count, you should all consider yourselves lucky...... Another problem I have right now is that I seem to have lost all patience with the world. As I type this for instance, I notice that when I use the delete key, the cursor is very, very slow. This is fucking annoying and makes me want to scream. Even little things like typos make me want to choke the life out of a young conservative. Oddly enough I've never had that desire before.......Also, why all of a sudden can I not read the type on certain websites? In general, everything appears smaller on my monitor since an internet outage a few days ago. Ok, so I can probably fix this in windows, but it's the fact it's happened at all. I used to be able to handle and accept the random nature of the universe. Does this mean i'm going to start believing in God as a way of ordering my life? I suppose it could be worse, I could turn into an agnostic and then you'd all be sorry.......... It's the little things, the inconsequential little aggravations that are doing for me. I think they reveal the pointlessness of existance without you really noticing.My theory in all this being...... "If they can't get the simple things right, how the fuck do they keep everything going?" If you want to know the meaning of life, should one exist at all, I reccommend you ask someone that works in IT. Right, i'm off to smash the shit out of some inanimate objects, wish me luck...................

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Surely anybody who lets off fireworks on any day other than that designated for the purpose should have an ASBO slapped on them?

It would be funny.

iLL Man said...

ASBO's? You might as well give them a cuff round the ear.

'Hang 'em high' as David Duff might say.................

Clairwil said...

Pah!
If you want to feel better talk to this woman. I've done it twice and I haven't been so much as mildly irritated since.

joycebunton@lifelinksconsultancy.com

She'a marvel!

iLL Man said...

What does she charge? To be honest it's just the usual mild irritations but they're just bugging me more than usual. I'll bear it in mind if it all gets too much though......

iLL Man said...

Wait a minute.....Does that mean you've got a guru?

Ace!

Clairwil said...

Indeed I do have a guru. Isn't it wildly exciting?

Fat Sparrow said...

One of my favorite quotes, from "Malcolm In The Middle" (don't know if you guys got that TV show over there) goes something along the lines of....

"Fate? 'Fate' is just what you call it when you don't know the name of the person that's screwing you over."

Pretty much says it all as far as the universe, life, and deities are concerned.